Toefl/correction 6
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Message de louanna posté le 29-09-2020 à 19:21:20 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Voici une rédaction que j'ai faite sur un sujet de TOEFL (que je passe le 1 novembre) Si vous pouvez m'aider et me corriger c'est super gentil merci beaucoup !
If you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity to study what would you choose ? Explain your choice using specific reasons and details.
At school, in France, we have three principle programs. Scientific, Economic and social, Literature. The program that I have choose is STMG, this is more specific than ES but the subjects are similar because we study economics, law, finance, management and English management.
If I could study a subject that I have never had the opportunity to study, I can imagine that I will choose Biology.
First, by choosing the economic program, I am not autorised to do a subject in an other program. This is why I can’t study Biology.
Secondly, I am very inspired by this subject since I am a children, I was so curious, then I loved reading space and science books. But, by growing up I realized that I was enjoyed by everything, it was really complicated for me to choose juste one field.
The problem was that I don’t like chemical physics at school, it was really boring. But if I wanted to choose the Scientific program I had to study chemical physics for a lot of hours.
I love Biology because of my curiosity, but this is also because the series «Orphan Black» was really pleasant to watch. The character of «Cosima» inspired me a lot because her work is to study DNA.
To sum up, I am interested by Sciences and more precisely Biology, but it wasn’t the program that I wanted to pursue. This is why if I can study Biology with my economic program, I will be extremely joyful.
Message de louanna posté le 29-09-2020 à 19:21:20 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Voici une rédaction que j'ai faite sur un sujet de TOEFL (que je passe le 1 novembre) Si vous pouvez m'aider et me corriger c'est super gentil merci beaucoup !
If you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity to study what would you choose ? Explain your choice using specific reasons and details.
At school, in France, we have three principle programs. Scientific, Economic and social, Literature. The program that I have choose is STMG, this is more specific than ES but the subjects are similar because we study economics, law, finance, management and English management.
If I could study a subject that I have never had the opportunity to study, I can imagine that I will choose Biology.
First, by choosing the economic program, I am not autorised to do a subject in an other program. This is why I can’t study Biology.
Secondly, I am very inspired by this subject since I am a children, I was so curious, then I loved reading space and science books. But, by growing up I realized that I was enjoyed by everything, it was really complicated for me to choose juste one field.
The problem was that I don’t like chemical physics at school, it was really boring. But if I wanted to choose the Scientific program I had to study chemical physics for a lot of hours.
I love Biology because of my curiosity, but this is also because the series «Orphan Black» was really pleasant to watch. The character of «Cosima» inspired me a lot because her work is to study DNA.
To sum up, I am interested by Sciences and more precisely Biology, but it wasn’t the program that I wanted to pursue. This is why if I can study Biology with my economic program, I will be extremely joyful.
Réponse : Toefl/correction 6 de gerondif, postée le 30-09-2020 à 00:56:13 (S | E)
Bonjour
Attention aux erreurs comme les verbe irréguliers ou les pluriels au lieu des singuliers, les adjectifs utilisés au milieu de rien, les traductions "français traduit" comme "I am joyful" qui me semble peu commune.
Erreurs en bleu.
At school, in France, we have three principle(ne se dit guère) programs. Scientific, Economic and social (maladroit, ses adjectifs raccrochés à rien), Literature. The program that I have choose(participe passé, verbe irrégulier) is STMG, this is more specific than ES but the subjects are similar because we study economics, law, finance, management and English management.
If I could study a subject that I have never had the opportunity to study, I can imagine that I will choose Biology.(conditionnel : je choisirAIS)
First, by choosing the economic program, I am not autorised(maladroit : I won't be allowed to) to do a subject(me semble maladroit) in an other program. This is why I can’t study Biology.
Secondly, I am very inspired by this subject since I am a children(singulier !), I was so curious, then I loved reading space and science books. But, by(by signifiant en au sens de au moyen de) growing up I realized that I was enjoyed(I enjoyed everything, ok, I was interested in everything, ok, mais I was enjoyed est assez horrible) by everything, it was really complicated for me to choose juste(français) one field.
The problem was that I don’t like chemical physics(vous traduisez la physique chimie par la physique chimique, chemical est un adjectif !!) at school, it was really boring. But if I wanted to choose the Scientific program I had to study chemical physics for a lot of hours.(physics and chemistry)
I love Biology because of my curiosity, but this is also because the series «Orphan Black» was really pleasant to watch. The character of «Cosima» inspired me a lot because her work is to study DNA.
To sum up, I am interested in by Sciences (on trouve plus souvent science au singulier générique) and more precisely Biology, but it wasn’t the program that I wanted to pursue. This is why if I can study Biology with my economic program, I will be extremely joyful(ne convient pas, je serai enjouée ?).
Réponse : Toefl/correction 6 de elizabethf, postée le 30-09-2020 à 12:02:43 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Oui il y a beaucoup de traductions mot à mot. En anglais, il est souvent conseillé d'éviter cela car les mots ne se mettent pas dans le même ordre ou il existe des expressions. C'est l'erreur principale que nous faisons tous. Je sais c'est facile à dire, ce qu'il faudrait essayer c'est d'écrire un maximum avec les mots que vous connaissez déjà afin d'éviter trop de ces erreurs (si vous désirez apprendre du vocabulaire il existe de nombreux outils pour en apprendre, n'hésitez pas à me demander). Il faut bien faire attention à la grammaire et la conjugaison. Personnellement je trouve la conjugaison anglaise plus simple que la française car à part les verbes irréguliers, il y a très peu de difficultés car c'est souvent tout le temps pareil.
Je corrige quelques petites erreurs en plus de Gerondif (qui a déjà fait un super travail):
Bonjour,
Voici une rédaction que j'ai faite sur un sujet de TOEFL (que je passe le 1 novembre) Si vous pouvez m'aider et me corriger c'est super gentil merci beaucoup !
If you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity to study what would you choose ? Explain your choice using specific reasons and details.
At school, in France, we have three principle programs. Scientific, Economic and social, Literature. The program that I have choose is STMG, this is more specific than ES but the subjects are similar because we study economics, law, finance, management and English management.
If I could study a subject that I have never had the opportunity to study, I can imagine that I will choose Biology.
First, by choosing the economic program, I am not autorised to do a subject in an other program. This is why I can’t study Biology.
Secondly, I am very inspired by this subject since I am a children, I was so curious, then I loved reading space and science books. But, by growing up I realized that I was enjoyed by everything, it was really complicated for me to choose juste one field.
The problem was that I don’t like chemical physics at school, it was really boring. But if I wanted to choose the Scientific program I had to study chemical physics for a lot of hours.
I love Biology because of my curiosity, but this is also because the series «Orphan Black» was really pleasant to watch. The character of «Cosima» inspired me a lot because her work is to study DNA.
To sum up, I am (l'êtes-vous toujours?) interested by Sciences and more precisely Biology, but it wasn’t the program that I wanted to pursue. This is why if I can study Biology with my economic program, I will be extremely joyful. (je mettrais du passé et conditionnel : si j'avais pu, j'aurais....)
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