Correction/Idea of progress
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Message de lesentier posté le 01-11-2019 à 16:45:59 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Voilà, pour les vacances, je devais rédiger ma première notion "Idea of Progress" (Terminale L). Je vous serais fort reconnaissant que vous apportiez votre correction et/ou vos conseils à ma rédaction qui est la suivante:
-I am going to deals with the idea of progress. Already, what is the idea of progress? We can define this notion as an evolution which can be positive or negative, and this evolution, this progress is in order to improve our society in amm field, such as science, medecine, technology, security, human rights, more recently those of animals... We studied the idea of progress, in class during this year. Especially, we talk about the genetic manipulation through several documents studied in class. So, I chose to speak of traits selection, a social trend, and try to answer this question, short but quite interesting: Is genetic manipulation a positive or negative aspect of progress? To answer this question, I will present two documents.
-The first document I have chosen is an article entitled "Genetics will Let Parents Build Their Baby", whriten by Kate Snow, and published on November, 3rd 2006. This text have an interest in my problematic, because the later explain why genetic manipulations are controversial. In fact, the journalist recieved pregnant women's opinions about what they think of traits selection? And we can observe differeznt arguments. For example, we could be "for" traits selection, because this about allows to choose the baby's physical traits and avoid disease. On the contrary, we could be "against", because if all parents used traits selection, they would creat a standardization and all people would all look the same. Another, this genetic manipulation is expansive and it could produce an economic competitiveness. So the topic is controversial, by the bye we don't really know what is journalist opinion, even if we can suppose it is negative, because when she speak about traits selection, she use at one point the word "tinker" instead of "change" which would be more neutral.
-The second document is an interview from "CBS news" of 1 people comes from medical world, accompanied by a report on parents who word genetic manipulations to choose the sex of their baby and the opinion of a doctor, Jeff Steinber, who approves this practice, whereas Dr Caplan (on the set) disagrees. To be more precise, Jeff Steinber is doctor in genetic manipulation, and he consider that progresse such as a science will be 80% sure for traits selection and we not bury our heads in the sand. This is not Dr.Caplan's opinion, who says on the TV set that's wrong and it's not possible right now, he understand people are afraid by traits selection. So, the director of the center for bioethics at the university of Pensylvania completely disagrees when Steinber says he has obligation offer "a bette baby", in fact, Caplan believe the other doctor has only a cash business and only rich "futur parents" will use it.
Still here, the arguments are qualified on the question. The later document is interesting because it present the opinions of 2 doctors, that show even skilled professionals do not all agree.
-Both the article and the interview make use realize that all people can't know if traits selection is, or will be an aspect negative or positve or progress.
-To conclude, I could say trait selection could be a good aspect of progress if it can be really avoid diasease. But, personally, I am scared that practive will be ised ill-advisedly.
Merci d'avance
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Modifié par lucile83 le 01-11-2019 17:08
Message de lesentier posté le 01-11-2019 à 16:45:59 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Voilà, pour les vacances, je devais rédiger ma première notion "Idea of Progress" (Terminale L). Je vous serais fort reconnaissant que vous apportiez votre correction et/ou vos conseils à ma rédaction qui est la suivante:
-I am going to deals with the idea of progress. Already, what is the idea of progress? We can define this notion as an evolution which can be positive or negative, and this evolution, this progress is in order to improve our society in amm field, such as science, medecine, technology, security, human rights, more recently those of animals... We studied the idea of progress, in class during this year. Especially, we talk about the genetic manipulation through several documents studied in class. So, I chose to speak of traits selection, a social trend, and try to answer this question, short but quite interesting: Is genetic manipulation a positive or negative aspect of progress? To answer this question, I will present two documents.
-The first document I have chosen is an article entitled "Genetics will Let Parents Build Their Baby", whriten by Kate Snow, and published on November, 3rd 2006. This text have an interest in my problematic, because the later explain why genetic manipulations are controversial. In fact, the journalist recieved pregnant women's opinions about what they think of traits selection? And we can observe differeznt arguments. For example, we could be "for" traits selection, because this about allows to choose the baby's physical traits and avoid disease. On the contrary, we could be "against", because if all parents used traits selection, they would creat a standardization and all people would all look the same. Another, this genetic manipulation is expansive and it could produce an economic competitiveness. So the topic is controversial, by the bye we don't really know what is journalist opinion, even if we can suppose it is negative, because when she speak about traits selection, she use at one point the word "tinker" instead of "change" which would be more neutral.
-The second document is an interview from "CBS news" of 1 people comes from medical world, accompanied by a report on parents who word genetic manipulations to choose the sex of their baby and the opinion of a doctor, Jeff Steinber, who approves this practice, whereas Dr Caplan (on the set) disagrees. To be more precise, Jeff Steinber is doctor in genetic manipulation, and he consider that progresse such as a science will be 80% sure for traits selection and we not bury our heads in the sand. This is not Dr.Caplan's opinion, who says on the TV set that's wrong and it's not possible right now, he understand people are afraid by traits selection. So, the director of the center for bioethics at the university of Pensylvania completely disagrees when Steinber says he has obligation offer "a bette baby", in fact, Caplan believe the other doctor has only a cash business and only rich "futur parents" will use it.
Still here, the arguments are qualified on the question. The later document is interesting because it present the opinions of 2 doctors, that show even skilled professionals do not all agree.
-Both the article and the interview make use realize that all people can't know if traits selection is, or will be an aspect negative or positve or progress.
-To conclude, I could say trait selection could be a good aspect of progress if it can be really avoid diasease. But, personally, I am scared that practive will be ised ill-advisedly.
Merci d'avance
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 01-11-2019 17:08
Réponse : Correction/Idea of progress de gerold, postée le 02-11-2019 à 10:11:26 (S | E)
Bonjour lesentier
Il faudrait penser à mettre les -s à la 3ème pers. du singulier.
-I am going to deals with the idea of progress. Already autre mot, what is the idea of progress? We can define this notion as an evolution which can be positive or negative, and this evolution, this progress is in order to formulation maladroite improve our society in amm ??field, such as science, medecine, technology, security, human rights, more recently those of animals... We studied the idea of progress
-The first document I have chosen is an article entitled "Genetics will Let Parents Build Their Baby", whriten by Kate Snow, and published on November, 3rd 2006. This text have an interest in my problematic, because the later it ?explain why genetic manipulations are controversial. In fact, the journalist recieved pregnant women's opinions about what they think of traits selection?, and we can observe differeznt arguments. For example, we could be "for" traits selection, because this about? allows to choose the baby's physical traits and avoid disease. On the contrary, we could be "against", because if all parents used traits selection, they would creat
-The second document is an interview from "CBS news" of 1 people c'est un pluriel, il faut (sans doute?) un singulier xx il manque un mot comes from medical world, accompanied by a report on parents who word confusion avec un autre mot ? genetic manipulations to choose the sex of their baby and the opinion of a doctor, Jeff Steinber, who approves this practice, whereas Dr Caplan (on the set) disagrees. To be more precise, Jeff Steinber is doctor in genetic manipulation, and he consider that progresseorth. such as a science mal dit will be 80% sure for traits selection and we xx not bury il manque sans doute qqchose our heads in the sand. This is not Dr.Caplan's opinion, who says on the TV set that's wrong and it's not possible right now, he understand people are afraid by traits selection. So, the director of the center for bioethics at the university of Pensylvania completely disagrees when Steinber says he has obligation xx offer "a bette baby", in fact, Caplan believe the other doctor has only a cash business and only rich "futur parents" will use it.
Still here mal dit, the arguments are qualified on the question. The later orth. document is interesting because it present the opinions of 2 doctors, that show even skilled professionals do not all agree.
-Both the article and the interview make use confusion avec un autre mot realize that all people can't know if traits selection is, or will be an aspect negative or positve adjectifs mal placés et orth. or progress.
-To conclude, I could say trait selection could be a good aspect of progress if it can be really avoid mauvaise construction diasease. But, personally, I am scared that practive will be ised ill-advisedly.
Merci d'avance
Réponse : Correction/Idea of progress de lesentier, postée le 09-11-2019 à 09:40:20 (S | E)
Je vous remercie sincèrement, et vous souhaite une bonne continuation.
Lesentier
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