Correction/ protest song
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Message de mrnch posté le 31-10-2019 à 18:16:33 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
je travaille sur la musique 'Born in the USA', avec un oral sur ce sujet pour bientôt; j'aimerais éviter le plus d'erreurs possibles
I)
In 1979, he participated to No Nukes witch wants to forbid nuclear energy. His first solo album was Nebraska in 1982. In 2002, he commemorated the attack the 11 septembre 2001, he protested against the war in Iraq, he supported democratic during election 2004 and 2008. He also has song during the last meeting of Obama during the election in 2008. Recently he protested in favor of the cause of homosexual.
II)
The Vietnam war began in 1955 and stopped in 1975. In reality, The United States want back in 1963 in this War. They took action to fight against communism. This war lasted 20 years, 57 000 american soldiers and one and a half million vietnamese soldiers were killed. American men had to go at the war, they didn’t have a choice.
This war were very contested because it was seen as a colonisation. This war show the imperialism of the united states during the Cold war. Its detractor qualified it of careless war because USA attack vietnam which is weaker than usa to fight URSS. american media were very important because they defuse photo and video about horror did by americans in vietnam. Those photo shock public and attack patriotism of americans people and his moral witch had trust in her army. In addition, The United States lost this war, so that is the first defeat of the American Army.
III)
The song presents a veteran as a tragic figure alienated upon his return from the war.
In Born in the USA, Bruce Springsteen denounce the defects in USA. He explains that be born and live in USA was disabling because during the 20th century when you were young, you must go to the war, it’s an obligation. The united States send young men at the death without choices.
Secondly, the song tells the wanderings of a young man from the countryside who is offered a rifle and sent to Vietnam. Then it is on his return that we attend, Springsteen preferring not to risk to describe a conflict he did not know because he was reformed for health reasons. But young people returning broken, he has known many, describing the loneliness of this man caught between a memory that haunted him and a country for which he fought that offers nothing in return. Besides, the country didn’t help the former soldiers.
In “Born in the USA”, Springsteen speaks about his brother who was kill during the war, He leaves behind him his wife and maybe her children. This shows the impacts for the american family.
So Springsteen denounce war’s horror and soldier’s trauma.
But after the release of the song, there has been some misunderstanding, people thought that it was a patriotic song.
Merci d'avance !
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 31-10-2019 21:22
Message de mrnch posté le 31-10-2019 à 18:16:33 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
je travaille sur la musique 'Born in the USA', avec un oral sur ce sujet pour bientôt; j'aimerais éviter le plus d'erreurs possibles
I)
In 1979, he participated to No Nukes witch wants to forbid nuclear energy. His first solo album was Nebraska in 1982. In 2002, he commemorated the attack the 11 septembre 2001, he protested against the war in Iraq, he supported democratic during election 2004 and 2008. He also has song during the last meeting of Obama during the election in 2008. Recently he protested in favor of the cause of homosexual.
II)
The Vietnam war began in 1955 and stopped in 1975. In reality, The United States want back in 1963 in this War. They took action to fight against communism. This war lasted 20 years, 57 000 american soldiers and one and a half million vietnamese soldiers were killed. American men had to go at the war, they didn’t have a choice.
This war were very contested because it was seen as a colonisation. This war show the imperialism of the united states during the Cold war. Its detractor qualified it of careless war because USA attack vietnam which is weaker than usa to fight URSS. american media were very important because they defuse photo and video about horror did by americans in vietnam. Those photo shock public and attack patriotism of americans people and his moral witch had trust in her army. In addition, The United States lost this war, so that is the first defeat of the American Army.
III)
The song presents a veteran as a tragic figure alienated upon his return from the war.
In Born in the USA, Bruce Springsteen denounce the defects in USA. He explains that be born and live in USA was disabling because during the 20th century when you were young, you must go to the war, it’s an obligation. The united States send young men at the death without choices.
Secondly, the song tells the wanderings of a young man from the countryside who is offered a rifle and sent to Vietnam. Then it is on his return that we attend, Springsteen preferring not to risk to describe a conflict he did not know because he was reformed for health reasons. But young people returning broken, he has known many, describing the loneliness of this man caught between a memory that haunted him and a country for which he fought that offers nothing in return. Besides, the country didn’t help the former soldiers.
In “Born in the USA”, Springsteen speaks about his brother who was kill during the war, He leaves behind him his wife and maybe her children. This shows the impacts for the american family.
So Springsteen denounce war’s horror and soldier’s trauma.
But after the release of the song, there has been some misunderstanding, people thought that it was a patriotic song.
Merci d'avance !
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 31-10-2019 21:22
Réponse : Correction/ protest song de gerondif, postée le 31-10-2019 à 18:43:02 (S | E)
Bonjour
"j'aimerais éviter le plus d'erreurs possibles". Bon, pour cela, il faudrait conjuguer les verbes aux bons temps, ne pas confondre adjectifs et noms communs, ne pas mettre de sujets singuliers avec des verbes pluriels, respecter la concordance des temps au style indirect. Vous donnez l'impression de traduire du wikipedia, certaines parties font un peu remplissage.
erreurs en bleu
I)
In 1979, he participated to No Nukes witch(une sorcière! Ne marche qu'aujourd'hui!) wants(concordance des temps) to forbid nuclear energy. His first solo album was Nebraska in 1982. In 2002, he commemorated the attack the 11 septembre (présentation de la date)2001, he protested against the war in Iraq, he supported democratic(adjectif) during election 2004 and 2008. He also has song (to sing, I sang sung. action datée = prété"rit)during the last meeting of Obama during the election in 2008. Recently he protested in favor of the cause of homosexuals.
II)
The Vietnam war began in 1955 and stopped in 1975. In reality, The United States want(verbe vouloir, différent de to go I went gone) back in 1963 in this War. They took action to fight against communism. This war lasted 20 years, 57 000 american soldiers and one and a half million vietnamese soldiers were killed. American men had to go at the war, they didn’t have a choice.
This war were(sujet singulier) very contested because it was seen as a colonisation. This war show(le s du présent simple) the imperialism of the united states (majuscules) during the Cold war. Its detractor qualified it of careless war because the USA(on met the devant les noms de pays pluriels ou composés: the United kingdom, the USA, the USSR, The United Arab Emirates) attack(prétérit) vietnam which is(prétérit) weaker than the usa to fight the URSS(USSR). american media were very important because they defuse(pour moi, to defuse c'est enlever un détonateur, to broadcast, c'est diffuser)(à mettre au prétérit) photo and video about horror(pluriel) did(participe passé) by americans in vietnam. Those photo(pluriel) shock(prétérit!!) the public and attack(prétérit) patriotism of americans(majuscule + pas de s de pluriel aux adjectifs) people and his(pluriel, les gens est synonyme de pluriel) moral witch(une sorcière) had trust in her army. In addition, The United States lost this war, so that is(prétérit) the first defeat of the American Army.
III)
The song presents a veteran as a tragic figure alienated upon(démodé) his return from the war.
In Born in the USA, Bruce Springsteen denounce ( le s du présent) the defects in *** USA. He explains that be(gérondif ou infinitif complet)) born and live in the USA was disabling because during the 20th century when you were young, you must(prétérit) go to the war, it’s(prétérit) an obligation. The United States send(prétérit) young men at(send est un verbe de déplacement, at une préposition de position) their death without choices.
Secondly, the song tells the wanderings of a young man from the countryside who is offered a rifle and sent to Vietnam. Then it is on his return that we attend,("c'est à son retour que nous assistons" traduit mot à mot mais ça ne va pas !) Springsteen preferring not to risk to describe a conflict he did not know because he was reformed for health reasons. But young people returning broken, he has known many(j'éviterais cette inversion du COD), describing the loneliness of this man caught between a memory that haunted him and a country for which he fought that offers nothing in return. Besides, the country didn’t help
In “Born in the USA”, Springsteen speaks about his brother who was kill(participe passé) during the war, He leaves(prétérit) behind him his wife and maybe her(ses enfants à elle?) children. This shows the impacts for the American family.
So Springsteen denounce (le s du présent simple, prononcé iz à l'oral) war’s horror (the horror of the war) and soldier’s(pluriel soldiers') trauma.
But after the release of the song, there has been(plutôt un prétérit, c'est daté) some misunderstanding, people thought that it was a patriotic song.
Réponse : Correction/ protest song de mrnch, postée le 01-11-2019 à 16:09:38 (S | E)
Bonjour qu'entendez vous par certaines parties font remplissages ?
Réponse : Correction/ protest song de gerondif, postée le 01-11-2019 à 16:47:59 (S | E)
Bonjour
Votre historique de la guerre par exemple. Avez-vous lu votre texte à haute voix pour voir combien de temps il vous faudra, si ce texte est la suite du précédent ?
Réponse : Correction/ protest song de mrnch, postée le 01-11-2019 à 19:42:19 (S | E)
Bonjour je ne vois pas où est le problème pour un oral d’une durée de 20 minutes
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