Thème 2/correction
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Message de vaiana posté le 22-06-2019 à 20:36:17 (S | E | F)
Hello!
here's my second and last prose translation!
Please be intransigent with me 
I hope that's not a disaster!!
Thank you!
"Paris.
De nos jours."
"Le Pr Adjemian venait de sa cuisine.
Il s’assit à son bureau, s’empara d’un stylo noir et écrivit sur un bloc-notes : « Ça y est. J’ai enfin trouvé. Je sais quoi répondre à l’une des trois questions fondamentales que doit se poser tout être humain : « D’où venons-nous ? »
Il hésita un instant sur la meilleure façon de poursuivre, puis il se mit à noter à toute vitesse : « Je sais à quel moment est apparu le premier homme. Je sais pourquoi, un jour, un animal s’est mué en un être à l’esprit tellement complexe qu’il est capable désormais de faire l’amour le sexe enveloppé de plastique, de regarder la télévision quatre heures par jour et de s’entasser volontairement avec des centaines d’individus dans des rames de métro sans air." » (…)
Le Père de nos pères de Bernard Werber
Paris.
Nowadays.
Pr Adjemian came from his kitchen.
He sat down at his office, grabed a black pen and wrote down in a notepad: "Here it is. I have finally found. I know what to answer to one of the three fundamental questions that have to be asked by every human being: "Where do we come from?"
He hesitated for a moment about the best way to go on, then started jotting down at full speed: "I know at what moment appeared the first man. I know why, a day, an animal turned on a specie with a so complex mind that he's now able to make love with the sex wrapped with plastic, to watch TV four hours a day and to be volontary piled up with hundreds of people in metro trains without air" (...)
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-06-2019 23:07
Source ajoutée.
Message de vaiana posté le 22-06-2019 à 20:36:17 (S | E | F)
Hello!
here's my second and last prose translation!
Please be intransigent with me 
I hope that's not a disaster!!
Thank you!
"Paris.
De nos jours."
"Le Pr Adjemian venait de sa cuisine.
Il s’assit à son bureau, s’empara d’un stylo noir et écrivit sur un bloc-notes : « Ça y est. J’ai enfin trouvé. Je sais quoi répondre à l’une des trois questions fondamentales que doit se poser tout être humain : « D’où venons-nous ? »
Il hésita un instant sur la meilleure façon de poursuivre, puis il se mit à noter à toute vitesse : « Je sais à quel moment est apparu le premier homme. Je sais pourquoi, un jour, un animal s’est mué en un être à l’esprit tellement complexe qu’il est capable désormais de faire l’amour le sexe enveloppé de plastique, de regarder la télévision quatre heures par jour et de s’entasser volontairement avec des centaines d’individus dans des rames de métro sans air." » (…)
Le Père de nos pères de Bernard Werber
Paris.
Nowadays.
Pr Adjemian came from his kitchen.
He sat down at his office, grabed a black pen and wrote down in a notepad: "Here it is. I have finally found. I know what to answer to one of the three fundamental questions that have to be asked by every human being: "Where do we come from?"
He hesitated for a moment about the best way to go on, then started jotting down at full speed: "I know at what moment appeared the first man. I know why, a day, an animal turned on a specie with a so complex mind that he's now able to make love with the sex wrapped with plastic, to watch TV four hours a day and to be volontary piled up with hundreds of people in metro trains without air" (...)
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-06-2019 23:07
Source ajoutée.
Réponse : Thème 2/correction de lemagemasque, postée le 25-06-2019 à 13:47:03 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Vous avez encore oublié les sources...
Paris.
Nowadays (nowadays indique un contraste avec le passé)
Pr Adjemian came (pas le bon temps : description) from his kitchen.
He sat down at his office, grabed (aurait pu être évitée avec un correcteur orthographique) a black pen and wrote down in (support) a notepad: "Here it is. I have finally found. I know what to answer to one of the three fundamental questions that have to be asked by every human being (le passif est trop lourd ici + oubli forme pronominale + confusion valeur des modaux): "Where do we come from?"
He hesitated for a moment about the best way to go on, then started jotting down at full speed: "I know at what moment appeared the first man (bof : faire plus simple + enlever l'inversion sujet-verbe). I know why, a day, an animal turned on a specie with a so complex mind that he's now able to make love with the sex wrapped with (apprendre les prépositions avec les adjectifs) plastic, (to) watch TV four hours a day and (to) be volontary (mauvaise orthographe + mauvaise nature grammaticale : les adjectifs réguliers se transforment en adverbes en ajoutant -ly à la fin) piled up (vous avez une drôle d'image... : up = vers le haut (ou augmentation)) with hundreds of people in metro trains without air (trop littéral : à remplacer par un adjectif)" (...)
Bonne journée ensoleillée !
Réponse : Thème 2/correction de vaiana, postée le 25-06-2019 à 18:38:59 (S | E)
Hello and thank you!!!
All these mistakes...aargh!! 
Paris.
Nowadays.
I don't have any other translation for this terme. 
Professor Adjemian were coming from his kitchen.
He sat down at his desk, grabbed a black pen and wrote down on a notepad: "That's it! I have finally found. I know what to answer to one of the three fundamental questions that should be asked by all human being: "Where do we come from?"
He hesitated for a moment about the best way to go on, then started jotting down at full speed: "I know when/the moment the first man appeared. I know why one (I never know when to put "a day" or "one day"; is there a big difference?) day, an animal turned into a being with such a complex mind that it is now able to make love with the sex wrapped in plastic, (to) watch TV four hours a day and (to) be voluntarily piled with hundreds of people in underground metro trains.
Have a sunny Tuesday too!
Réponse : Thème 2/correction de lemagemasque, postée le 29-06-2019 à 12:39:40 (S | E)
Hello!
Paris.
Presently/Now
Professor/Prof. Adjemian were coming from his kitchen.
He sat down at his desk, grabbed a black pen and wrote down on a notepad: "That's it! I have finally found. I know what to answer to one of the three fundamental questions that should be asked by all human beingX (léger mieux mais toujours une erreur d'appréciation de la valeur portée par le modal "devoir" : ici "devoir" = "il est probable que"): "Where do we come from?"
He hesitated for a moment about the best way to go on, then started jotting down at full speed: "I know when
Bonne journée !
Réponse : Thème 2/correction de vaiana, postée le 30-06-2019 à 16:40:17 (S | E)
Hello, many thanks!
Paris.
Presently.
Professor Adjemian was coming from his kitchen.
He sat down at his desk, grabbed a black pen and wrote down on a notepad: "That's it! I have finally found. I know what to answer to one of the three fundamental questions that must be asked by all human being: "Where do we come from?"
He hesitated for a moment about the best way to go on, then started jotting down at full speed: "I know when the first man appeared. I know why one day, an animal turned into a complex-minded being that it is now able to make love with the sex wrapped in plastic, watch TV four hours a day and be deliberately heaped with hundreds of people in underground trains. (apart from "without air", I don't see what could be written
)Réponse : Thème 2/correction de lemagemasque, postée le 02-07-2019 à 15:56:05 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Il vous faut être plus attentive aux fautes de frappe et vérifier davantage le contexte dans le dictionnaire.
Paris.
Presently.
Professor Adjemian was coming from his kitchen.
He sat down at his desk, grabbed a black pen and wrote down on a notepad: "That's it! I have finally found. I know what to answer to one of the three fundamental questions which is on every human's lips (trop de passif tue le passif): "Where do we come from?"
He hesitated for a moment about the best way to go on, then started jotting down at full speed: "I know when the first man appeared. I know why one day, an animal turned into X a complex-minded being that it is now able to make love with the sex wrapped in plastic, watch TV four hours a day and be deliberately heaped (regardez le contexte) with hundreds of people in underground trains. (apart from "without air", I don't see what could be written : sans air : Lien internet
)
Bonne journée !
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