Aide/Expression orale

Aide/Expression orale
Message de piccolo posté le 16-12-2018 à 15:28:19 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je dois passer un oral d’anglais demain en cours, le but étant de se présenter en essayant de se vendre à notre potentiel futur employeur.
Je n’aurai pas droit aux notes, mais j’ai tout de même préparé un petit texte afin de m’aiguiller. J’aimerais ainsi savoir ce que vous en pensez, si vous repérez des fautes de structure ou de grammaire, voire même si vous me recommandez d’autres tournures de phrases.
Merci beaucoup.

I’m going to introduce my self.
Hello, my name is ***** and I’m twenty years old.
I’m born in Lille, in the North of France, and now i’m living in *****, near Paris, for my studies.
I was getting a baccalaureat S, after this, I was starting a year of psychology at the college of Lille, and now, I study in *****, a film school near Paris.
I love cinéma, music, manga, drawing, reading and writing.
I like thrillers and drama movies, I listen a lot of music, rap, rock, metal…, and I writing a lot, I writing short novel and music text.
So I study in ***** because I want to work in the cinema industry. I think cinema is a good way to share a story, to reach a lot of people and give emotions. So I want to be a film director and a writer.
I think you should hire me because I want to be the greatest, and i’m really determined to do the best of me in your compagny.
Thank you.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 16-12-2018 16:05

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Réponse : Aide/Expression orale de gerondif, postée le 16-12-2018 à 15:41:30 (S | E)
Bonjour
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
I’m going to introduce myself.
Hello, my name is ***** and I’m twenty years old.
I’m born in Lille,(je fus mis au monde à, je vis le jour à mettez l'auxiliaire e^tre au prétérite) in the North of France, and now I’m living in *****, near Paris, for my studies.(le présent simple va suffire)
I was getting(j' avias ou j'eus, j'obtins, c'est du prétérit simple, pas d'ing !!) a baccalaureat S, after this, I was starting(idem) a year of(in) psychology at the college(plutôt university, college fait plus iut études courtes, psycho se fait sur plus de deux ans, quand on va au bout) of Lille, and now, I study in(at + nom de l'école ou in + ville) *****, a film school near Paris.
I love the cinéma, music, manga(pluriel), drawing, reading and writing.
I like thrillers and drama movies, I listen to a lot of music, rap, rock, metal…, and I writing(présent simple) a lot, I writing short novel(pluriel and music text (on dit lyrics).
So I study in ***** because I want to work in the cinema industry. I think the cinema is a good way to share a story, to reach a lot of people and give emotions. So I want to be a film director and a writer.
I think you should hire me because I want to be the greatest, and I’m really determined to do the best of me(ne se dit pas, on dit I'll do my best) in your compagny.
Thank you.

Good luck!

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Réponse : Aide/Expression orale de piccolo, postée le 16-12-2018 à 16:19:15 (S | E)
Merci infiniment pour votre réponse.
Je me permets de poster à nouveau mon texte, après modification, afin de voir si j'ai bien assimilé vos corrections.

I’m going to introduce myself.
Hello, my name is ***** and I’m twenty years old.
I was born in Lille, in the North of France, and now I live in *****, near Paris, for my studies.
I got a baccalaureat S, after this, I started a year in psychology at the university of Lille, and now, I study at *****, a film school near Paris.
I love the cinema, music, mangas, drawing, reading and writing.
I like thrillers and drama movies, I listen to a lot of music, rap, rock, metal…, and I write a lot, I write shorts novels and lyrics.
So I study in ***** because I want to work in the cinema industry. I think the cinema is a good way to share a story, to reach a lot of people and give emotions. So I want to be a film director and a writer.
I think you should hire me because I want to be the greatest, and I’ll do my best in your compagny.
Thank you.

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Réponse : Aide/Expression orale de gerondif, postée le 16-12-2018 à 16:58:19 (S | E)
Bonjour
I’m going to introduce myself.
Hello, my name is ***** and I’m twenty years old.
I was born in Lille, in the North of France, and now I live in *****, near Paris, for my studies.
I got a baccalaureat S, after that, I started a year in psychology (fait très français traduit. I started to study psychology)at the university of Lille (but didn't finish my first year), and now, I study at *****, a film school near Paris.
I love the cinema, music, mangas, drawing, reading and writing.
I like thrillers and drama movies, I listen to a lot of music, rap, rock, metal…, and I write a lot, I write short(adj invariable) novels and lyrics.
So I study in ***** because I want to work in the cinema industry. I think the cinema is a good way to share a story, to reach a lot of people and give emotions. So I want to be a film director and a writer.
I think you should hire me because I want to be the greatest, and I’ll do my best in your company.
Thank you.

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