Correction/ DM
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Message de liza55 posté le 30-10-2018 à 15:02:44 (S | E | F)
Hello!
J'ai fait un travail d'anglais mais j'aimerais bien queqqn quelqu'un y apporte une correction si nécessaire. Je suis censée écrire en anglais britannique.
Voici l'énoncé:
Choose a group portrait. Describe it to a blind friend. Describe the people who are in it, where they are and what they are doing. Tell about your feelings for each person and the memories the photo brings back to you. Finally, give your opinion on the importance of taking photo.
Mon travail:
Hello my friend!
Today, I will describe you a photograph wich was taken during a family trip in New York in 2015.Actually, the scene takes place on the Brooklyn Bridge.
To continue with the photo, my family and me are in the foreground. Moreover, my mother and my little brother are in the left-hand side whereas my father and I are in the right-hand side. It's funny since my little brother is standing on a bench because of his height!
Everybody is wearing winter clothes like fleece jackets, hats, gloves, jeans and pullovers. Indeed, it was very cold in New York at the time.
Since we are tourists, my father is wearing a backpack and my mother is carrying a camera.
To finish, my mother and I are wearing glasses because we are short-sighted.
Now, let's speak about the place. As I said before, the scene takes place on the Brooklyn Bridge in New York. In the background we can see the One World Trade Center which is a famous tower. We can also see a lot of tourists on the bridge and monuments in the bottom. Finally, we are smiling on the bridge that we crossed on that day.
Let's talk about my feelings for each person right now. It is obvious that everybody is happy to be in USA. But my brother and I seem to be very tired since we have rings under ours eyes.
On the contrary, my parents are unflagging. In fact, they are smiling widely.
This photo brings back to me very good memories. Indeed, it was my first time in America. It was like a dream! It remembers me my travel and all the monuments I visited.
This is why I think photo-taking is very important : it enables us to remember nice moments people spend. Moreover, I think that a photo is a better souvenir than an object that we buy.
Merci d'avance!
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-10-2018 21:43
Message de liza55 posté le 30-10-2018 à 15:02:44 (S | E | F)
Hello!
J'ai fait un travail d'anglais mais j'aimerais bien que
Voici l'énoncé:
Choose a group portrait. Describe it to a blind friend. Describe the people who are in it, where they are and what they are doing. Tell about your feelings for each person and the memories the photo brings back to you. Finally, give your opinion on the importance of taking photo.
Mon travail:
Hello my friend!
Today, I will describe you a photograph wich was taken during a family trip in New York in 2015.Actually, the scene takes place on the Brooklyn Bridge.
To continue with the photo, my family and me are in the foreground. Moreover, my mother and my little brother are in the left-hand side whereas my father and I are in the right-hand side. It's funny since my little brother is standing on a bench because of his height!
Everybody is wearing winter clothes like fleece jackets, hats, gloves, jeans and pullovers. Indeed, it was very cold in New York at the time.
Since we are tourists, my father is wearing a backpack and my mother is carrying a camera.
To finish, my mother and I are wearing glasses because we are short-sighted.
Now, let's speak about the place. As I said before, the scene takes place on the Brooklyn Bridge in New York. In the background we can see the One World Trade Center which is a famous tower. We can also see a lot of tourists on the bridge and monuments in the bottom. Finally, we are smiling on the bridge that we crossed on that day.
Let's talk about my feelings for each person right now. It is obvious that everybody is happy to be in USA. But my brother and I seem to be very tired since we have rings under ours eyes.
On the contrary, my parents are unflagging. In fact, they are smiling widely.
This photo brings back to me very good memories. Indeed, it was my first time in America. It was like a dream! It remembers me my travel and all the monuments I visited.
This is why I think photo-taking is very important : it enables us to remember nice moments people spend. Moreover, I think that a photo is a better souvenir than an object that we buy.
Merci d'avance!
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-10-2018 21:43
Réponse : Correction/ DM de vaiana, postée le 30-10-2018 à 16:43:22 (S | E)
Hello, I can try to help you; nevertheless I am not bilingual yet so feel free to wait for another correction.
Hello my friend!
Today, I will describe you a photograph wich (be careful with the spelling
) was taken during a family trip in New York in 2015.Actually, the scene takes place on the Brooklyn Bridge.To continue with the photo, my family and I are in the foreground. Moreover, my mother and my little brother are in the left-hand side whereas my father and I are in the right-hand side. It is (you ought to avoid contractions in your essays) funny since my little brother is standing on a bench because of his height!
Everybody is wearing winter clothes like fleece jackets, hats, gloves, jeans and pullovers. Indeed, it was very cold in New York at the time.
Since we are tourists, my father is wearing a backpack and my mother is carrying a camera.
To finish, my mother and I are wearing glasses because we are short-sighted.
Now, let's speak about the place. As I said before, the scene takes place on the Brooklyn Bridge in New York. In the background we can see the One World Trade Center which is a famous tower. We can also see a lot of tourists on the bridge and monuments in the bottom. Finally, we are smiling on the bridge that we crossed on that day.
Let's talk about my feelings for each person right now. It is obvious that everybody is happy to be in the (
"in America" but "in THE United States"....be careful) USA. But my brother and I seem to be very tired since we have rings under ours (spelling mistake) eyes.On the contrary, my parents are unflagging. In fact, they are smiling widely.
This photo brings back
This is why I think photo-taking is very important : it enables us remembering nice moments people spent // to remember nice moments people spend. Moreover, I think
You have done a very good job!! Congratulations
But as I said, I am not bilingual, so do not hurry and wait patiently for native or bilingual speakers See you soon!Réponse : Correction/ DM de liza55, postée le 30-10-2018 à 21:14:52 (S | E)
Thank you very much!
Réponse : Correction/ DM de bluestar, postée le 30-10-2018 à 22:01:40 (S | E)
hello..
"It remembers me my travel".....you need to look at this again!
Réponse : Correction/ DM de liza55, postée le 01-11-2018 à 10:38:01 (S | E)
Hello bluestar
Is it better if I say : "It reminds me my travel..." ?
Thanks for your help!
Réponse : Correction/ DM de bluestar, postée le 01-11-2018 à 10:40:19 (S | E)
hello..
It reminds me of etc..
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