Summary/ Shannon
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Message de kawaii34 posté le 29-10-2018 à 09:22:51 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai écrit un résumé sur une immigrante irlandaise "Shannon Ryan".
Le sujet est le suivant :
Résumez le but de son départ, sa traversée, son passage à Ellis Island et sa nouvelle vie à New-York.
Je voudrais bien que quelqu'un m'aide pour corriger mon résumé car personne de mon entourage ne parle anglais.
J'espère ne pas avoir fait trop de fautes.
Mon résumé est ci-desssous.
Merci d'avance
This is the story of an immigrant. Her name was Shannon Ryan, she was Irish and she was from Balbriggan. She was born thirty years after the Great Famine. The Great Famine or Irish Potato Famine from 1845 to 1852 was destructiive : 150 000 people was died and 2 million left home to go to Great Britain. Her father was a fischerman and in 1891, he died at the sea. Thus she had to leave school and earn a living as a farmhand. Her life was too tough in Ireland therefore she decided to go to the United States. She saved enough money and she travelled by a ship. She bought a cheapest fare for New York, she wanted to try her luck.
A day before her departure, she dreaded to say goodbye her mother. And she there were heartbroke.
On board HMS Samrock, she was scared of the unknow but also she was exciting at starting a new life. She wanted to become more rich and to have money. The following day and a fornights day later, she was in steerage because she travelled the worst and the cheapest class the travel. However, there were some advantages. It was the cheapest one and she had a room to her self. But there were too drawbacks. The air in steerage was filthy, food was scare and discuting. There were not enough toilets and clean water foor everyone. Most of them was seasik, particularly the children. During the crossing, Shannon celebrated her birthday. Her friends gift a party one deck, played music and singed Irish songs. When Shannon saw the statue of liberty, she felt relieved. She through Ellis Island and she was a bit scared because of the first test was six-second medical exam. It constisted in climble the stairs to the Great Hall and a doctor stayed at the top and watched it. Shannon climbed the stairs briskly. She had got no chalk mark and she could to go in the Great Hall for in interviews with the legal inspectors. The inspector asked her questions like "Can you read and write?" . The inspecteor accepted she could stay in America because she answered she was going to New York in the Partrick's uncle who enabled him to stay a few days.
After, she found a small room and job as a nanny. She was really happy. One years after, she received a lettrer from Patrick for her Birthday. He asked her question if she anted to join him in Los Angeles.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 29-10-2018 09:26
Message de kawaii34 posté le 29-10-2018 à 09:22:51 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai écrit un résumé sur une immigrante irlandaise "Shannon Ryan".
Le sujet est le suivant :
Résumez le but de son départ, sa traversée, son passage à Ellis Island et sa nouvelle vie à New-York.
Je voudrais bien que quelqu'un m'aide pour corriger mon résumé car personne de mon entourage ne parle anglais.
J'espère ne pas avoir fait trop de fautes.
Mon résumé est ci-desssous.
Merci d'avance
This is the story of an immigrant. Her name was Shannon Ryan, she was Irish and she was from Balbriggan. She was born thirty years after the Great Famine. The Great Famine or Irish Potato Famine from 1845 to 1852 was destructiive : 150 000 people was died and 2 million left home to go to Great Britain. Her father was a fischerman and in 1891, he died at the sea. Thus she had to leave school and earn a living as a farmhand. Her life was too tough in Ireland therefore she decided to go to the United States. She saved enough money and she travelled by a ship. She bought a cheapest fare for New York, she wanted to try her luck.
A day before her departure, she dreaded to say goodbye her mother. And she there were heartbroke.
On board HMS Samrock, she was scared of the unknow but also she was exciting at starting a new life. She wanted to become more rich and to have money. The following day and a fornights day later, she was in steerage because she travelled the worst and the cheapest class the travel. However, there were some advantages. It was the cheapest one and she had a room to her self. But there were too drawbacks. The air in steerage was filthy, food was scare and discuting. There were not enough toilets and clean water foor everyone. Most of them was seasik, particularly the children. During the crossing, Shannon celebrated her birthday. Her friends gift a party one deck, played music and singed Irish songs. When Shannon saw the statue of liberty, she felt relieved. She through Ellis Island and she was a bit scared because of the first test was six-second medical exam. It constisted in climble the stairs to the Great Hall and a doctor stayed at the top and watched it. Shannon climbed the stairs briskly. She had got no chalk mark and she could to go in the Great Hall for in interviews with the legal inspectors. The inspector asked her questions like "Can you read and write?" . The inspecteor accepted she could stay in America because she answered she was going to New York in the Partrick's uncle who enabled him to stay a few days.
After, she found a small room and job as a nanny. She was really happy. One years after, she received a lettrer from Patrick for her Birthday. He asked her question if she anted to join him in Los Angeles.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 29-10-2018 09:26
Réponse : Summary/ Shannon de laure95, postée le 30-10-2018 à 14:33:34 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- 150 000 people was (enlever was)died
_ and 2 million left home (enlever home)to go to Great Britain.
- he died at the sea: chercher le verbe se noyer.
- she travelled by a (enlever a)ship.
- to try her luck: ?
- she dreaded to say goodbye (préposition)her mother.
- And she there were heartbroke: ?
- the unknow: participe passé.
- she was exciting (mettre au participe passé)at starting a new life.
- more rich: revoir comparatif des adjectifs courts.
- a fornights singulier) day (enlever day) later,
- she travelled the worst and the cheapest class the travel:?
- she had a room to her self: she had her own room.
- discuting: ?
- foor: orthographe.
- Her friends gift a party: ?
- one (on the?) deck,
- singed : verbe irrégulier.
- She through: ?
- because of the first test was six-second medical exam: ?
- It constisted: orthographe.
- in climble: in + verbe + ing.
- she could to go: she was able to go to.
- The inspecteor accepted (and told her) she could stay in America
- in the Partrick's uncle: to her uncle Patrick's.
- who enabled him (her pas him)to stay (for) a few days.
- and (article)job as a nanny.
- One years (singulier) after,
- He asked her question (enlever question)if she (w)anted to join him in Los Angeles.
Et qu'a-t-elle répondu?
Réponse : Summary/ Shannon de kawaii34, postée le 30-10-2018 à 18:02:28 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup de votre aide.
j'ai corrigé toutes mes fautes, j'ai un peu honte quand même car j'ai fait des fautes bêtes.
Et il n'y a pas de réponse à la question.
merci encore
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