Aide/presentation d'entreprise
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Message de pikyyum posté le 21-05-2018 à 18:36:25 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous!
Dans le cadre de monbts BTS je dois présenter mon entreprise ( l'assurance MAIF) à l'oral, en anglais. J'ai commencé à écrire un texte mais n'étant pas très forte puis ayant peu d'aide autour de moi, après réflexion je pense que mon texte n'est pas très fourni et qu'il doit sûrement contenir des erreurs 
. Alors j'aurais besoin de l'aide et de l'avis de quelques bilingues pour présenter au mieux mon texte.
Je vous remercie par avance de votre générosité!!
Ci-dessous mon texte:
My name is Elodie Lautier and I am preparing my BTEC in Negociations and Customer Relations in a sandwich course at IFTE Sud.
My company is MAIF ( Mutual Insurrance of French Teachers ) which has its headquarters located in Niort. Founded in ninety thirty-four by an association of teachers who wanted have thier own protection at a fair and equitable price. She has now more than six thousand employees and a turnover of three billion four hundred million euros.
MAIF is a financially independant company and all its partners have their own financial capitals.Today, they provide various insurrance and saving products, which are mainly set-up by phone calls. Its customers are teachers and other individuals, who are considered as shareholders and have the right to vote every three years. MAIF has three million members and nearly five million contracts for housing and auto insurrance. Most of its competitors are insurrance companies sush as MAAF, MACIF, GMF etc….
At the moments I am working at a call center in Joliette-Marseille. My job is mainly about answering incoming calls from members and prospects. I advise and offer our products as well as following up their insurance files. This work brought me a sense of organization, being attentive to others and experience in insurance sales. After my BTS I’d like to have a permanent job at MAIF.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 21-05-2018 19:58
Message de pikyyum posté le 21-05-2018 à 18:36:25 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous!
Dans le cadre de mon
. Alors j'aurais besoin de l'aide et de l'avis de quelques bilingues pour présenter au mieux mon texte. Je vous remercie par avance de votre générosité!!
Ci-dessous mon texte:
My name is Elodie Lautier and I am preparing my BTEC in Negociations and Customer Relations in a sandwich course at IFTE Sud.
My company is MAIF ( Mutual Insurrance of French Teachers ) which has its headquarters located in Niort. Founded in ninety thirty-four by an association of teachers who wanted have thier own protection at a fair and equitable price. She has now more than six thousand employees and a turnover of three billion four hundred million euros.
MAIF is a financially independant company and all its partners have their own financial capitals.Today, they provide various insurrance and saving products, which are mainly set-up by phone calls. Its customers are teachers and other individuals, who are considered as shareholders and have the right to vote every three years. MAIF has three million members and nearly five million contracts for housing and auto insurrance. Most of its competitors are insurrance companies sush as MAAF, MACIF, GMF etc….
At the moments I am working at a call center in Joliette-Marseille. My job is mainly about answering incoming calls from members and prospects. I advise and offer our products as well as following up their insurance files. This work brought me a sense of organization, being attentive to others and experience in insurance sales. After my BTS I’d like to have a permanent job at MAIF.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 21-05-2018 19:58
Réponse : Aide/presentation d'entreprise de bluestar, postée le 22-05-2018 à 12:27:41 (S | E)
bonjour...
My name is Elodie Lautier and I am preparing my BTEC in Negociations and Customer Relations in a sandwich course at IFTE Sud.
My company is MAIF ( Mutual Insurrance of French Teachers ) which has its headquarters
MAIF is a financially independant company and all its partners have their own financial capitals(singulier).Today, they provide various insurrance
and saving products, which are mainly set-up by phone calls. Its customers are teachers and other individuals, who are considered as shareholders and have the right to vote every three years. MAIF has three million members and nearly five million contracts for housing and auto insurrance. Most of its competitors are insurrance companies sush as MAAF, MACIF, GMF etc….
At the moments I am working at a call center in Joliette-Marseille. My job is mainly about answering incoming calls from members and prospects. I advise and offer our products as well as following up their insurance files. This work brought brought (use present tense) me a sense of organization, being attentive
to others and experience in insurance sales. After my BTS I’d like to have a permanent job at MAIF
insurrance---- orthographe a verifier
Réponse : Aide/presentation d'entreprise de gerold, postée le 22-05-2018 à 13:18:19 (S | E)
Bonjour
Founded in
At the moment
Réponse : Aide/presentation d'entreprise de pikyyum, postée le 30-05-2018 à 12:56:39 (S | E)
Bonjour et merci pour vos réponses =), j'ai mis en application vos erreurs constatées et modifié quelques phrases, ci_dessous:
My name is Elodie Lautier I graduated from a professional baccalaureate in upholstery and interior decoration
and I am preparing my BTEC in Negociations and Customer Relations in a sandwich course at IFTE Sud.
My company is MAIF ( Mutual Insurrance of French Teachers ) which has its headquarters in Niort. Founded in nineteen thirty-four by an association of teachers who wanted have their own protection at a fair and equitable price, She has now more than six thousand employees and a turnover of three billion four hundred million euros.
MAIF is a financially independant company and all its partners have their own financial capital. Today, they provide various insurrance
and saving products, which are mainly set-up by phone calls. Its customers are teachers and other individuals, who are considered as shareholders and have the right to vote every three years. MAIF has three million members and nearly five million contracts for housing and auto insurrance. Most of its competitors are insurrance companies sush as MAAF, MACIF, GMF etc….
Currently I am working at a call center in Joliette-Marseille ,which I had to have a job interview. My job is mainly about answering incoming calls from members and prospects. I advise and offer our products as well as following up their insurance files. This work brought me a sense of organization, being attentive to others and a experience in insurance sale. After getting my BTEC (if i have it)
Subsequently, I would like to do a web designer training for to have my own business of handmade decoration online.
Merci beaucoup
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Modifié par lucile83 le 30-05-2018 14:41
Réponse : Aide/presentation d'entreprise de bluestar, postée le 30-05-2018 à 13:53:44 (S | E)
bonjour..erreurs en bleu: suggestions en vert
--with pas from a professional baccalaureate
-- negotiation pas negociation
-- she has now more than..who is "she"? Use it instead, "she" is used only for people
-- independent pas independant
-- insurrance(encore!)
-- sush (encore!)
-- which I had to have a job ...where pas which
-- After getting my BTEC (if imajuscule have it)
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