Notion/Espaces et échanges
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Message de thomas1906 posté le 13-05-2018 à 00:56:39 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Dans le cadre du Bac, je dois présenter des synthèses de notion et voici l'une d'entre elles.
J'aimerais que l'un d'entre vous me montre mes erreurs afin de les comprendre et de les corriger. Je sais que cela va vous prendre un certain temps, c'est pourquoi je remercie sincèrement celui/celle qui effectuera cette tâche.
Voici mon texte :
The notion I'm going to deal with is spaces and exchanges. We have discovered new spaces, new places to exchange, and exchanges between peole have grown with phenomenon of globalization. With this evolution, our way to live and to consume have changed too. We can ask the following questions : What is the influence of the consumer society on our life ? Are there alternative means to live apart from the consumer society ?
First I will define the consumer society. Then I will explain why this ociety doesn't always bring happiness. And finally we will see that a certain number of people refuse this consumer society, and try to find solutions to make our consumer society more acceptable.
In a first phase, I would like to emphasize our modern world is connected to the consumer society.
First, our society has undergone a great number of changes over the past century. Our living and consuming habits have changed. With these changes, our way to regard our life and our indendity has changed too. Thus it is as if the consumer society is changing us, our identity, our personality. Worse it forges our identity. Even if the consumer society is globalized, it doesn't bring the best.
The consumer society, our ways to live and to consume can bring a lot of problems.
Firstly, because of the consumer society a lot of people have debts and do mortgages who can not repay.
Moreover, people are victims of our consumer society. They become crazy and are uncontrolled because they always want shop. Some people are so merciless they are ready to kill to purchase something. An employee was trampled by a mob of customers in a store. Thus a certain number of people realize that living and consuming in our contemporary world, our consumer society can be dangerous, thus it can't bring happiness. On the contrary, it brings about a lot of problems. This is why the decide to react and change their living and consuming habits.
First of all, there is a sort of rejection of the consumer society and its consumerism. For instance " Buy nothing day" is a special day when people shouldn't consuming. It is at the same time that Black Friday. It is to make people aware of the problems of over consumption.
Besides, there is a more balanced attitude : citizen consumption. Some people want their purchases to be purposeful : they want to help a charity, a cause of people in need.
Finally, some groups of people offer alternatives to frenzy shopping and over consumption. For example they ate local food and organic food. They decided to walk and ride their bikes instead of driving their cars. That is the no impact attitude. These counter-movements offer a more respectful approach to consumption, to relations and exchanges.
To conclude, our modern society has consequences on our well-being. Our exchanges and socializing have changed, not always for the best. Indeed, thanks to the consumer society, our life can be more comfortable. However we must be balanced. It can have positive aspects, but its excesses bring about a certain number of problems.Personally, I think, the consumer society is harmful for us. We spend a lot and take things we don't really need.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 13-05-2018 07:57
Message de thomas1906 posté le 13-05-2018 à 00:56:39 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Dans le cadre du Bac, je dois présenter des synthèses de notion et voici l'une d'entre elles.
J'aimerais que l'un d'entre vous me montre mes erreurs afin de les comprendre et de les corriger. Je sais que cela va vous prendre un certain temps, c'est pourquoi je remercie sincèrement celui/celle qui effectuera cette tâche.
Voici mon texte :
The notion I'm going to deal with is spaces and exchanges. We have discovered new spaces, new places to exchange, and exchanges between peole have grown with phenomenon of globalization. With this evolution, our way to live and to consume have changed too. We can ask the following questions : What is the influence of the consumer society on our life ? Are there alternative means to live apart from the consumer society ?
First I will define the consumer society. Then I will explain why this ociety doesn't always bring happiness. And finally we will see that a certain number of people refuse this consumer society, and try to find solutions to make our consumer society more acceptable.
In a first phase, I would like to emphasize our modern world is connected to the consumer society.
First, our society has undergone a great number of changes over the past century. Our living and consuming habits have changed. With these changes, our way to regard our life and our indendity has changed too. Thus it is as if the consumer society is changing us, our identity, our personality. Worse it forges our identity. Even if the consumer society is globalized, it doesn't bring the best.
The consumer society, our ways to live and to consume can bring a lot of problems.
Firstly, because of the consumer society a lot of people have debts and do mortgages who can not repay.
Moreover, people are victims of our consumer society. They become crazy and are uncontrolled because they always want shop. Some people are so merciless they are ready to kill to purchase something. An employee was trampled by a mob of customers in a store. Thus a certain number of people realize that living and consuming in our contemporary world, our consumer society can be dangerous, thus it can't bring happiness. On the contrary, it brings about a lot of problems. This is why the decide to react and change their living and consuming habits.
First of all, there is a sort of rejection of the consumer society and its consumerism. For instance " Buy nothing day" is a special day when people shouldn't consuming. It is at the same time that Black Friday. It is to make people aware of the problems of over consumption.
Besides, there is a more balanced attitude : citizen consumption. Some people want their purchases to be purposeful : they want to help a charity, a cause of people in need.
Finally, some groups of people offer alternatives to frenzy shopping and over consumption. For example they ate local food and organic food. They decided to walk and ride their bikes instead of driving their cars. That is the no impact attitude. These counter-movements offer a more respectful approach to consumption, to relations and exchanges.
To conclude, our modern society has consequences on our well-being. Our exchanges and socializing have changed, not always for the best. Indeed, thanks to the consumer society, our life can be more comfortable. However we must be balanced. It can have positive aspects, but its excesses bring about a certain number of problems.Personally, I think, the consumer society is harmful for us. We spend a lot and take things we don't really need.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 13-05-2018 07:57
Réponse : Notion/Espaces et échanges de gerold, postée le 13-05-2018 à 09:22:20 (S | E)
Bonjour Thomas,
voilà déjà quelques remarques après une lecture rapide:
The notion I'm going to deal with is spaces and exchanges. We have discovered new spaces, new places to exchange, and exchanges between peole have grown with phenomenon of globalization. With this evolution, our way to live and to consume have il n'y a qu'un sujet au singulier, way changed too. We can ask the following questions : What is the influence of the consumer society on our life ? Are there alternative means to live apart from the consumer society ?
First I will define the consumer society. Then I will explain why this society doesn't always bring happiness. And finally we will see that a certain number of people refuse this consumer society, and try to find solutions to make our consumer society more acceptable.
In a first phase, I would like to emphasize xx il manque qun mot: que, comment? our modern world is connected to the consumer society.
First, our society has undergone a great number of changes over the past century. Our living and consuming habits have changed. With these changes, our way to regard our life and our indendity has changed too. Thus it is as if the consumer society isautre forme de to be changing us, our identity, our personality. Worse it forges our identity. Even if the consumer society is globalized, it doesn't bring the best.
The consumer society, our ways to live and to consume can bring a lot of problems.
Firstly, because of the consumer society a lot of people have debts and do mortgages who il faut un autre relatif, l'antécédent n'est pas un être humain xx sujet can not un seul mot repay.
Moreover, some people are victims of our consumer society. They become crazy and are uncontrolled because they always want xx il manque un petit mot shop. Some people are so merciless xx ici aussi they are ready to kill to purchase something. An employee was trampled by a mob of customers in a store. Thus a certain number of people realize that living and consuming in our contemporary world, our consumer society virgule can be dangerous, thus it can't bring happiness. On the contrary, it brings about a lot of problems. This is why the decide to react and change their living and consuming habits.
First of all, there is a sort of rejection of the consumer society and its consumerism. For instance " Buy nothing day" is a special day when people shouldn't consuming pas ing après should. It is at the same time plutôt: on the same day that autre mot, il y a "as" avant Black Friday. It plutôt son but est ... is to make people aware of the problems of over consumption un seul mot.**caractères interdits**:insertion('
Besides, there is a more balanced attitude : citizen consumption. Some people want their purchases to be purposeful : they want to help a charity,
Finally, some groups of people offer alternatives to frenzy shopping and over consumption. For example they ate local food and organic food. They decided to walk and ride their bikes instead of driving their their est inutile cars. That is the no impact attitude. These counter-movements offer a more respectful approach to consumption, to relations and exchanges.
To conclude, our modern society has consequences on our well-being. Our exchanges and socializing have changed, not always for the best. Indeed, thanks to the consumer society, our life can be more comfortable. However we must be balanced plutôt avoir une attitude équilibrée . It can have positive aspects, but its excesses bring about a certain number of problems.Personally, I think, the consumer society is harmful for us. We spend a lot and take things we don't really need.
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