Hobbies /proposal
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Message de ana24 posté le 21-04-2018 à 00:12:21 (S | E | F)
Bonjour!!
I would lovethat someone has to have a look to at my writing 
A national TV channel is planning a series of documentary programmes about unusual hobbies and is looking for people and their hobbies to feature in the programmes. The series producer invites you to send a proposal outlining ideas for two of these programmes which should be aimed at general audiences rather than other people doing these hobbies. Your proposal should suggest hobbies of different types and give reasons why you think they would make successful TV programmes.
Introduction
I am writing to you as regard as the new documentary programmes about unusual hobbies that you plan to broadcast. I am utterly convinced that this new show would have a great potential since the fear of trying new things still prevail in our society. The purpose of this proposal is to suggest you two hobbies that, in my opinion, would make quite an impact among the audience. So Let us shed a light on some original individuals!
First hobby
The first atypical hobby is called "Toy travels" and consists of sending your little toy or favourite doll to someone from all around the world, registered in an online community. This activity is the favourite one of Tom, my 10-years old cousin and the great deal of pleasure it gave him is really worth-seeing. He is always trying to find a host who lives in the perfect holiday-spot for his teddy, whether it is in the heart of a historical city, in an exotic country or even in an unexpected hidden gem. Hence, this hobby has developed his knowledge of the world and his main interests are in the realm of travels and geography. Plus, imagine his excitement when he receives some stunning photographs of his toy, relaxing while enjoying breathtaking views! This is the highlight of his week! Plus, Tom hosts some foreign toys as well and this definitely appears to be a great incentive as to discover in more details his surroundings since Tom always wants to impress the toy's owners with the natural beauty of his region. I believe it would make a great impression on television because it appeals to people of all ages, from youngsters to parents who could suggest this activity to their children. It is fun, entertaining and make people travelling through the toys; No wonder that it would be a success!
second hobby
The second hobby is called " creative dog grooming". Not only that my neighbour Helen washes dogs and gives them a haircut but the dog's entire body is a canvas for art. Helen is the most eccentric artist you have ever met! It has been ten years that she participates into an international competition where she reinvents poodles' fur. She often attempts to feature some cartoon designs or fictional characters such as Yoda or Chewbacca. Her eyes-popping designs are fascinating! Her last ingenious execution was a poodde transformed in half-elephant,half-tiger. By all means, I am not sure whether it is good to encourage this practice as it does not seem really ethical when we see some dogs'sour-faced. However, Helen and other groomers claim that their hair-sprays are absolutely not toxic and they always take safety precautions. Yet, Helen has owned up to failing some designs as it requires a considerable sense of detail and a good knowledge of how to mixt the colours together. As you notice, Helen is a very modest artist and always tries her best to reinvent herself, a quality that must be shown on screen! I am really convinced that a large amount of people would be interested in discovering her life and her hobby.
Conclusion
Whether these two hobbies are just temporary or withstand the test of time, I believe that Tom and Helen would be of great interest to people because in addition to be entertaining and original, they share their hobbies with an incredible passion.
Merci beaucoup
Ana
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Modifié par lucile83 le 21-04-2018 08:38
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-04-2018 21:03
Merci de ne pas effacer mes corrections dans votre présentation!
Message de ana24 posté le 21-04-2018 à 00:12:21 (S | E | F)
Bonjour!!
I would love
A national TV channel is planning a series of documentary programmes about unusual hobbies and is looking for people and their hobbies to feature in the programmes. The series producer invites you to send a proposal outlining ideas for two of these programmes which should be aimed at general audiences rather than other people doing these hobbies. Your proposal should suggest hobbies of different types and give reasons why you think they would make successful TV programmes.
Introduction
I am writing to you as regard as the new documentary programmes about unusual hobbies that you plan to broadcast. I am utterly convinced that this new show would have a great potential since the fear of trying new things still prevail in our society. The purpose of this proposal is to suggest you two hobbies that, in my opinion, would make quite an impact among the audience. So Let us shed a light on some original individuals!
First hobby
The first atypical hobby is called "Toy travels" and consists of sending your little toy or favourite doll to someone from all around the world, registered in an online community. This activity is the favourite one of Tom, my 10-years old cousin and the great deal of pleasure it gave him is really worth-seeing. He is always trying to find a host who lives in the perfect holiday-spot for his teddy, whether it is in the heart of a historical city, in an exotic country or even in an unexpected hidden gem. Hence, this hobby has developed his knowledge of the world and his main interests are in the realm of travels and geography. Plus, imagine his excitement when he receives some stunning photographs of his toy, relaxing while enjoying breathtaking views! This is the highlight of his week! Plus, Tom hosts some foreign toys as well and this definitely appears to be a great incentive as to discover in more details his surroundings since Tom always wants to impress the toy's owners with the natural beauty of his region. I believe it would make a great impression on television because it appeals to people of all ages, from youngsters to parents who could suggest this activity to their children. It is fun, entertaining and make people travelling through the toys; No wonder that it would be a success!
second hobby
The second hobby is called " creative dog grooming". Not only that my neighbour Helen washes dogs and gives them a haircut but the dog's entire body is a canvas for art. Helen is the most eccentric artist you have ever met! It has been ten years that she participates into an international competition where she reinvents poodles' fur. She often attempts to feature some cartoon designs or fictional characters such as Yoda or Chewbacca. Her eyes-popping designs are fascinating! Her last ingenious execution was a poodde transformed in half-elephant,half-tiger. By all means, I am not sure whether it is good to encourage this practice as it does not seem really ethical when we see some dogs'sour-faced. However, Helen and other groomers claim that their hair-sprays are absolutely not toxic and they always take safety precautions. Yet, Helen has owned up to failing some designs as it requires a considerable sense of detail and a good knowledge of how to mixt the colours together. As you notice, Helen is a very modest artist and always tries her best to reinvent herself, a quality that must be shown on screen! I am really convinced that a large amount of people would be interested in discovering her life and her hobby.
Conclusion
Whether these two hobbies are just temporary or withstand the test of time, I believe that Tom and Helen would be of great interest to people because in addition to be entertaining and original, they share their hobbies with an incredible passion.
Merci beaucoup
Ana
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Modifié par lucile83 le 21-04-2018 08:38
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 22-04-2018 21:03
Merci de ne pas effacer mes corrections dans votre présentation!
Réponse : Hobbies /proposal de gerondif, postée le 22-04-2018 à 17:43:47 (S | E)
Bonjour,
erreurs en bleu
I would love that someone has(proposition infinitive) a look to my writing
A national TV channel is planning a series of documentary programmes about unusual hobbies and is looking for people and their hobbies to feature in the programmes. The series producer invites you to send a proposal outlining ideas for two of these programmes which should be aimed at general audiences rather than other people doing these hobbies. Your proposal should suggest hobbies of different types and give reasons why you think they would make successful TV programmes.
Introduction
I am writing to you as regard as the new documentary programmes about unusual hobbies that you plan to broadcast. I am utterly convinced that this new show would have a great potential since the fear of trying new things still prevail(le s du présent simple 3ème personne) in our society. The purpose of this proposal is to suggest to you two hobbies that, in my opinion, would make quite an impact among the audience. So Let us shed a light on some original individuals (people)!
First hobby
The first atypical hobby is called "Toy travels" and consists of sending your little toy or favourite doll to someone from all around the world, registered in an online community. This activity is the favourite one of(maladroit, cas possessif) Tom, my 10-years(adjectival = invariable) old cousin and the great deal of pleasure it gave him is really worth-seeing. He is always trying to find a host who lives in the perfect holiday-spot for his teddy, whether it is in the heart of a historical city, in an exotic country or even in an unexpected hidden gem. Hence, this hobby has developed his knowledge of the world and his main interests are in the realm of travels and geography. Plus (familier), imagine his excitement when he receives some stunning photographs of his toy, relaxing while enjoying breathtaking views! This is the highlight of his week! Plus, Tom hosts some foreign toys as well and this definitely appears to be a great incentive as to discover in more details(derrièe le cod) his surroundings since Tom always wants to impress the toy's owners with the natural beauty of his region. I believe it would make a great impression on television because it appeals to people of all ages, from youngsters to parents who could suggest this activity to their children. It is fun, entertaining and make (le s....) people travelling through the toys; No wonder that it would be a success!
second hobby
The second hobby is called " creative dog grooming". Not only that(ne va pas) my neighbour Helen washes dogs and gives them a haircut but the dog's entire body is a canvas for art. Helen is the most eccentric artist you have ever met! It has been ten years that(since + present perfect) she participates into an international competition where she reinvents poodles' fur. She often attempts to feature some cartoon designs or fictional characters such as Yoda or Chewbacca. Her eyes-popping designs are fascinating! Her last ingenious execution was a poodde transformed into half-elephant,half-tiger. By all means,(ne me semble pas convenir) I am not sure whether it is good to encourage this practice as it does not seem really ethical when we see some dogs'sour-faced.(mal construit, ou alors traduit d'un article français au traducteur , une phrase du type quand on voit la gueule de certains chiens et le traducteur aurait traduit quelque chose comme "faire la gueule, tirer la tronche") However, Helen and other groomers claim that their hair-sprays are absolutely not toxic and they always take safety precautions. Yet, Helen has owned up to failing some designs as it requires a considerable sense of detail and a good knowledge of how to mixt the colours together. As you notice, Helen is a very modest artist and always tries her best to reinvent herself, a quality that must be shown on screen! I am really convinced that a large amount of people would be interested in discovering her life and her hobby.
Conclusion
Whether these two hobbies are just temporary or withstand the test of time, I believe that Tom and Helen would be of great interest to people because in addition to being entertaining and original, they share their hobbies with an incredible passion.
Réponse : Hobbies /proposal de ana24, postée le 22-04-2018 à 22:34:02 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
merci Gérondif, je suis très reconnaissante de l'aide que vous m'apportez!
Voici mes corrections + les vôtres
Is there a difference in meaning between "consist in" and "consist of" ?
Introduction
I am writing to you as regard to the new documentary programmes about unusual hobbies that you plan to broadcast. I am utterly convinced that this new show would have a great potential since the fear of trying new things still prevails in our society. The purpose of this proposal is to suggest to you two hobbies that, in my opinion, would make quite an impact among the audience. So Let us shed a light on some original people!
First hobby
The first atypical hobby is called "Toy travels" and consists in sending your little toy or favourite doll to someone from all around the world, registered in an online community. This activity is Tom's favourite, my 10-year old cousin and the great deal of pleasure it gave him is really worth-seeing. He is always trying to find a host who lives in the perfect holiday-spot for his teddy, whether it is in the heart of a historical city, in an exotic country or even in an unexpected hidden gem. Hence, this hobby has developed his knowledge of the world and his main interests are in the realm of travels and geography. Moreover, imagine his excitement when he receives some stunning photographs of his toy, relaxing while enjoying breathtaking views! This is the highlight of his week! Plus, Tom hosts some foreign toys as well and this definitely appears to be a great incentive as to discover his surroundings in/with
more details since Tom always wants to impress the toy's owners with the natural beauty of his region. I believe it would make a great impression on television because it appeals to people of all ages, from youngsters to parents who could suggest this activity to their children. It is fun, entertaining and makes people travelling through the toys; No wonder that it would be a success!second hobby
The second hobby is called " creative dog grooming". Not only does my neighbour Helen washes dogs and gives them a haircut but she transforms dogs' entire body into canvas for art. Helen is the most eccentric artist you have ever met! It has been ten years since she participates into an international competition where she reinvents poodles' fur. She often attempts to feature some cartoon designs or fictional characters such as Yoda or Chewbacca. Her eye-popping designs are fascinating! Her last ingenious execution was a pooddle transformed into half-elephant,half-tiger. Yet, I acknowledge the fact that this practice raises some ethical issues concerning animal rights ( or animals' rights ?).However, Helen and other groomers claim that their hair-sprays are absolutely not toxic and they always take safety precautions. So far, Helen has owned up to failing some designs as it requires a considerable sense of detail and a good knowledge of how to mix the colours together. As you notice, Helen is a very modest artist and always tries her best to reinvent herself, a quality that must be shown on screen! I am convinced that a large amount of people would be interested in discovering her life and her hobby.
Conclusion
Whether these two hobbies are just temporary or withstand the test of time, I believe that Tom and Helen would be of great interest to people because in addition to being entertaining and original, they share their hobbies with an incredible passion.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 23-04-2018 13:38
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Modifié par ana24 le 24-04-2018 12:34
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