Synthèse Bac/ correction
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Message de manoon2 posté le 19-04-2018 à 13:28:32 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'aimerais que quelqu'un puisse corriger mes synthèses d'anglais pour le Bac, voici la première:
SPACES AND EXCHANGES
INTRODUCTION: The notion I am going to talk about is the notion of spaces and exchanges. This notion can be defined as international exchanges between countries, or talk about the immigration when people moving from one country to another and its consequences. However, I am going to deal with Art in the cities commonly referred to street art. We can find this art in the street or in museums and art galleries. It concerns the artist or random people, and the artist can be a painter or a sculptor or maybe an architect. The street artist seeks to pass a message or an idea.
The question I would like to ask is: To what extent street art can transform spaces and allow to exchange with people?
To begin with I will speak about street art allows to interact with the public or reach an audience and the I will study how street art can revitalize a city.
FIRST PART: To start I will talk about a video we watched in class. This video is a report broadcast on tv who deals with how street art can become the heart of a community or a city. The journalist explain that art can give a sense of place. She says if art is getting people to discuss it and think about it, it's the success. To bring art in the city she offers to put an artist, a landscape architect and an engineers to a table and together they can bring a concept in and then the whole team can make that a reality.
Moreover, we also studied a video. This document is a speech of JR, he is a french artist who uses photography to turn the world inside out. He works on several projects, among which face to face deals with the Israeli conflict. He took pictures of an Israeli and a Palestinian doing the same job and pasted them on each side of the wall. He wanted to show that everyone was equal. It was a success nobody recognizes who was the Palestinian and who was the Israeli. It was a way for JR to interact with the viewers creates a dialogue or an exchange. Besides this project he creates a project called "women are heroes" in the favelas in Brazil where there were no museums to bring art and culture to people who don't have access to art.
This form of art represents for me the best form of art who exist in the world because it allows people to think, communicate and educate a message very important. Thus, street art allows everyone to see the project.
SECOND PART: However, thanks to a video we studied in class I discovered "yarn storming". It's art with pieces of wool. Woman doing his art and hang on trees or everywhere in the city. It's a new form of art. The video was shot in Coven Garden and people show the wool and everyone are surprised. I was impressed by what we can do with wool.
To finish, I want to talk about an artist I discovered on snapchat, yes, the social networks. His name is Jan Vormann. He is a German urban artist. His amazing project is entitled "Dispatchwork". Plastic construction pieces are used to repair broken walls. He invites everyone to repair a wall and post the picture on a world map on the web.
CONCLUSION: To conclude, street art can transform spaces if artist make an art who embellish a city or an area and it's possible to exchange between people with art if the artist passes a message.
To my mind, street art can rejuvenate a city and interact with people. I think it's important that everyone can show art even if they don't have museums, it's why street art exists for me. In my opinion participate as a project like "Dispatchwork" allow everyone to discover a new form of street art.
This topic makes me think of street art is necessarily considered like art or it can be vandalism?
Merci d'avance pour votre aide !
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 19-04-2018 14:04
Message de manoon2 posté le 19-04-2018 à 13:28:32 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'aimerais que quelqu'un puisse corriger mes synthèses d'anglais pour le Bac, voici la première:
SPACES AND EXCHANGES
INTRODUCTION: The notion I am going to talk about is the notion of spaces and exchanges. This notion can be defined as international exchanges between countries, or talk about the immigration when people moving from one country to another and its consequences. However, I am going to deal with Art in the cities commonly referred to street art. We can find this art in the street or in museums and art galleries. It concerns the artist or random people, and the artist can be a painter or a sculptor or maybe an architect. The street artist seeks to pass a message or an idea.
The question I would like to ask is: To what extent street art can transform spaces and allow to exchange with people?
To begin with I will speak about street art allows to interact with the public or reach an audience and the I will study how street art can revitalize a city.
FIRST PART: To start I will talk about a video we watched in class. This video is a report broadcast on tv who deals with how street art can become the heart of a community or a city. The journalist explain that art can give a sense of place. She says if art is getting people to discuss it and think about it, it's the success. To bring art in the city she offers to put an artist, a landscape architect and an engineers to a table and together they can bring a concept in and then the whole team can make that a reality.
Moreover, we also studied a video. This document is a speech of JR, he is a french artist who uses photography to turn the world inside out. He works on several projects, among which face to face deals with the Israeli conflict. He took pictures of an Israeli and a Palestinian doing the same job and pasted them on each side of the wall. He wanted to show that everyone was equal. It was a success nobody recognizes who was the Palestinian and who was the Israeli. It was a way for JR to interact with the viewers creates a dialogue or an exchange. Besides this project he creates a project called "women are heroes" in the favelas in Brazil where there were no museums to bring art and culture to people who don't have access to art.
This form of art represents for me the best form of art who exist in the world because it allows people to think, communicate and educate a message very important. Thus, street art allows everyone to see the project.
SECOND PART: However, thanks to a video we studied in class I discovered "yarn storming". It's art with pieces of wool. Woman doing his art and hang on trees or everywhere in the city. It's a new form of art. The video was shot in Coven Garden and people show the wool and everyone are surprised. I was impressed by what we can do with wool.
To finish, I want to talk about an artist I discovered on snapchat, yes, the social networks. His name is Jan Vormann. He is a German urban artist. His amazing project is entitled "Dispatchwork". Plastic construction pieces are used to repair broken walls. He invites everyone to repair a wall and post the picture on a world map on the web.
CONCLUSION: To conclude, street art can transform spaces if artist make an art who embellish a city or an area and it's possible to exchange between people with art if the artist passes a message.
To my mind, street art can rejuvenate a city and interact with people. I think it's important that everyone can show art even if they don't have museums, it's why street art exists for me. In my opinion participate as a project like "Dispatchwork" allow everyone to discover a new form of street art.
This topic makes me think of street art is necessarily considered like art or it can be vandalism?
Merci d'avance pour votre aide !
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 19-04-2018 14:04
Réponse : Synthèse Bac/ correction de laure95, postée le 20-04-2018 à 15:42:30 (S | E)
Bonjour,
SPACES AND EXCHANGES
INTRODUCTION: or talk (mettre au gérondif) about the immigration when people moving (pas la bonne forme du verbe)from one country to another
- To what extent street art can transform spaces and allow to exchange with people?: ordre des mots
- To begin with I will speak about street art (mettre un pronom relatif) allows to interact with the public or reach an audience and the
I will study how street art can revitalize a city.FIRST PART: To start (virgule)I will talk about a video we watched in class.
- This video is a report broadcast on tv who (pas le bon relatif)deals with
- The journalist explain (faute de conjugaison) that art can give a sense of place: ?
- an engineers (an + singulier) to (pas la bonne préposition)a table
- a french (majuscule) artist who uses photography to turn the world inside out.
- It was a success nobody recognizes (passé)who was the Palestinian and who was the Israeli (ordre des mots).
- It was a way for JR to interact with the viewers creates (pas la bonne forme du verbe) a dialogue or an exchange.
- Besides this project he creates a project : ?
- This form of art represents for me the best form of art who (pas le bon relatif) exist (faute de conjugaison) in the world
- and educate a message very important: ?
SECOND PART: Woman doing his art and hang on trees or everywhere in the city: ?
- everyone are (singulier) surprised.
CONCLUSION: if artist make an art who (pas le bon relatif)embellish a city or an area
- it's why: that's why.
- In my opinion participate (gérondif)as a project like "Dispatchwork" allow (singulier)everyone to discover a new form of street art.
This topic makes me think of (if pas of)street art is necessarily considered like art or it can be vandalism? ordre des mots.
Réponse : Synthèse Bac/ correction de manoon2, postée le 23-04-2018 à 09:57:50 (S | E)
or talking about the immigration when people moving (je ne vois pas quelle forme est a utiliser) from one country to another
The question I would like to ask is: To what extent can street art transform spaces and allow to exchange with people?
To begin with I will speak about street art which allows to interact with the public or reach an audience and then(faute de frappe hihi) I will study how street art can revitalize a city.
FIRST PART: To start, I will talk about a video we watched in class. This video is a report broadcast on tv which deals with how street art can become the heart of a community or a city. The journalist explains that art can give a sense of a place(est ce mieux? j'ai voulu dire donner un sens a un lieu).
and an engineer around a table and together they can bring a concept in and then the whole team can make that a reality.
Moreover, we also studied a video. This document is a speech of JR, he is a French artist who uses photography to turn the world inside out. He works on several projects, among which face to face deals with the Israeli conflict. He took pictures of an Israeli and a Palestinian doing the same job and pasted them on each side of the wall. He wanted to show that everyone was equal. It was a success nobody recognized who was the Palestinian and who was the Israeli(pour l'ordre des mots je ne sais pas comment faire). It was a way for JR to interact with the viewers created(je ne suis pas sure de moi) a dialogue or an exchange. Besides this project, he creates a project called "women are heroes" in the favelas in Brazil where there were no museums to bring art and culture to people who don't have access to art.(pour cette dernière phrase je ne vois pas ce qui est incorrect)
This form of art represents for me the best form of art which exists in the world because it allows people to think, communicate and pass a message very important. Thus, street art allows everyone to see the project.
SECOND PART: However, thanks to a video we studied in class I discovered "yarn storming". It's art with pieces of wool. Woman doing his art and she hangs it on trees or everywhere in the city.
To finish, I want to talk about an artist I discovered on snapchat, yes, the social networks. His name is Jan Vormann. He is a German urban artist. His amazing project is entitled "Dispatchwork". Plastic construction pieces are used to repair broken walls. He invites everyone to repair a wall and post the picture on a world map on the web.
CONCLUSION: To conclude, street art can transform spaces if artist makes (n'aurai je pas oublié un "s" ici?) an art which embellish a city or an area and it's possible to exchange between people with art if the artist passes a message.
To my mind, street art can rejuvenate a city and interact with people. I think it's important that everyone can show art even if they don't have museums, that's why street art exists for me. In my opinion participating as a project like "Dispatchwork" allows everyone to discover a new form of street art.
This topic makes me think if street art is necessarily considered like art or can it be vandalism?
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide, j'avais une autre question: est ce que pour poster mes autres notions je dois créer iun nouveau post ou je peux les mettre a la suite de celle ci?
Réponse : Synthèse Bac/ correction de gerondif, postée le 23-04-2018 à 10:38:13 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Créez un nouveau post.
Réponse : Synthèse Bac/ correction de manoon2, postée le 25-04-2018 à 11:10:41 (S | E)
Bonjour, desolée par avance si cela ne se fait pas mais serait-il possible de reprendre ma correction et me guider pour les quelques fautes qui me reste et dont je ne suis pas capable de corriger seule ces fautes.
Merci par avance,
Encore mille excuses d'insister comme cela.
Réponse : Synthèse Bac/ correction de gerondif, postée le 26-04-2018 à 15:57:25 (S | E)
Bonjour
Il vous faudrait publier votre texte entier corrigé, sinon, c'est infernal de devoir passer de votre texte aux corrections de laure95 corrigées par vous à remettre dans le texte. Quand on copie vos corrections, le bleu disparait, il faut à nouveau jongler....
or talking about the immigration when people moving (conjuguez votre be + ing) from one country to another
The question I would like to ask is: To what extent can street art transform spaces and allow to exchange with people?
To begin with I will speak about street art which allows to interact with the public or reach an audience and then(faute de frappe hihi) I will study how street art can revitalize a city.
FIRST PART: To start, I will talk about a video we watched in class. This video is a report broadcast on tv which deals with how street art can become the heart of a community or a city. The journalist explains that art can give a sense of a placeun sens: a meaning. of = appartenant à to = dirigé vers prévu pour, donc a meaning to a place).
and an engineer around a table and together they can bring a concept in and then the whole team can make that a reality.
Moreover, we also studied a video. This document is a speech of (by)JR, he is a French artist who uses photography to turn the world inside out. He works on several projects, among which face to face deals with the Israeli conflict. He took pictures of an Israeli and a Palestinian doing the same job and pasted them on each side of the wall. He wanted to show that everyone was equal. It was a success, nobody recognized who was the Palestinian and who was the Israeli(pour l'ordre des mots je ne sais pas comment faire : bien avec le pluriel nobody knew who the Israelis oand who the Palestinians were. verbe à la fin, pas d'inversion en style indirect). It was a way for JR to interact with the viewers created(ing) a dialogue or an exchange. Besides this project, he creates a project called "women are heroes" in the favelas in Brazil where there were no museums to bring art and culture to people who don't have access to art.(pour cette dernière phrase je ne vois pas ce qui est incorrect)
This form of art represents for me the best form of art which exists in the world because it allows people to think, communicate and pass a message very important(à placer devant message). Thus, street art allows everyone to see the project.
SECOND PART: However, thanks to a video we studied in class I discovered "yarn storming". It's art with pieces of wool. Woman doing his art (article devant woman, be + ing à conjuguer en entier, et pourquoi his art si c'est une femme qui le fait ??)and she hangs it on trees or everywhere in the city.
To finish, I want to talk about an artist I discovered on snapchat, yes, the social networks. His name is Jan Vormann. He is a German urban artist. His amazing project is entitled "Dispatchwork". Plastic construction pieces are used to repair broken walls. He invites everyone to repair a wall and post the picture on a world map on the web.
CONCLUSION: To conclude, street art can transform spaces if artist makes (soit artists make, soit the artist makes) an art which embellish a city or an area and it's possible to exchange between people with art if the artist passes a message.
To my mind, street art can rejuvenate a city and interact with people. I think it's important that everyone can show art even if they don't have museums, that's why street art exists for me. In my opinion participating as(plutôt in) a project like "Dispatchwork" allows everyone to discover a new form of street art.
This topic makes me think(utilisez le verbe se demander si, to wonder if) if street art is necessarily considered like art or if it can be considered as vandalism?
Réponse : Synthèse Bac/ correction de manoon2, postée le 26-04-2018 à 19:25:15 (S | E)
Bonsoir, je m'excuse de ne pas avoir recopié tout le texte pensant que ce serai plus simple pour vous. Alors voici tout mon texte avec toutes les corrections, n'ai je rien oublié? Je vous remercie pour toutes vos reponses qui me sont d'une très grande aide !
INTRODUCTION: The notion I am going to talk about is the notion of spaces and exchanges. This notion can be defined as international exchanges between countries, or talking about the immigration when people are moving from one country to another and its consequences. However, I am going to deal with Art in the cities commonly referred to street art. We can find this art in the street or in museums and art galleries. It concerns the artist or random people, and the artist can be a painter or a sculptor or maybe an architect. The street artist seeks to pass a message or an idea.
The question I would like to ask is: To what extent can street art transform spaces and allow to exchange with people?
To begin with I will speak about street art which allows to interact with the public or reach an audience and then I will study how street art can revitalize a city.
FIRST PART: To start, I will talk about a video we watched in class. This video is a report broadcast on tv which deals with how street art can become the heart of a community or a city. The journalist explains that art can give a meaning of a place. She says if art is getting people to discuss it and think about it, it's the success. To bring art in the city she offers to put an artist, a landscape architect and an engineer around a table and together they can bring a concept in and then the whole team can make that a reality.
Moreover, we also studied a video. This document is a speech by JR, he is a French artist who uses photography to turn the world inside out. He works on several projects, among which face to face deals with the Israeli conflict. He took pictures of an Israeli and a Palestinian doing the same job and pasted them on each side of the wall. He wanted to show that everyone was equal. It was a success nobody recognized who the Israelis and who the Palestinians were. It was a way for JR to interact with the viewers created a dialogue or an exchange. Besides this project, he creates a project called "women are heroes" in the favelas in Brazil where there were no museums to bring art and culture to people who don't have access to art.
This form of art represents for me the best form of art which exists in the world because it allows people to think, communicate and pass a message. Thus, street art allows everyone to see the project.
SECOND PART: However, thanks to a video we studied in class I discovered "yarn storming". It's art with pieces of wool. Woman is doing her art and she hangs it on trees or everywhere in the city. It's a new form of art. The video was shot in Coven Garden and people show the wool and everyone is surprised. I was impressed by what we can do with wool.
To finish, I want to talk about an artist I discovered on snapchat, yes, the social networks. His name is Jan Vormann. He is a German urban artist. His amazing project is entitled "Dispatchwork". Plastic construction pieces are used to repair broken walls. He invites everyone to repair a wall and post the picture on a world map on the web.
CONCLUSION: To conclude, street art can transform spaces if artist make an art which embellish a city or an area and it's possible to exchange between people with art if the artist passes a message. To my mind, street art can rejuvenate a city and interact with people. I think it's important that everyone can show art even if they don't have museums, that's why street art exists for me. In my opinion participating in a project like "Dispatchwork" allows everyone to discover a new form of street art.
This topic makes me wonder if street art is necessarily considered as art or can be considered as vandalism?
Réponse : Synthèse Bac/ correction de gerondif, postée le 28-04-2018 à 11:13:31 (S | E)
Bonjour
INTRODUCTION: The notion I am going to talk about is the notion of spaces and exchanges. This notion can be defined as international exchanges between countries, or talking about the immigration when people are moving from one country to another and its consequences. However, I am going to deal with Art in the cities commonly referred to street art. We can find this art in the street or in museums and art galleries. It concerns the artist or random people, and the artist can be a painter or a sculptor or maybe an architect. The street artist seeks to pass a message or an idea.
The question I would like to ask is: To what extent can street art transform spaces and allow to (ou bien an) exchange with people?
To begin with I will speak about street art which allows (makes it easier to..) to interact with the public or reach an audience and then I will study how street art can revitalize a city.
FIRST PART: To start with, I will talk about a video we watched in class. This video is a report broadcast on tv which deals with how street art can become the heart of a community or a city. The journalist explains that art can give a meaning of to a place (reveal the true face of a place). She says that if art is getting people to discuss (it) and think about it, it's the (a) success. To bring art in (bring est un verbe de mouvement) the city, she offers to put an artist, a landscape architect and an engineer around a table and together they can bring a concept in and then the whole team can make that (turn that into) a reality.
Moreover, we also studied a video. This document is a speech by JR, he is a French artist who uses photography to turn the world inside out. He works on several projects, among which "face to face" deals with the Israeli conflict. He took pictures of an Israeli and a Palestinian doing the same job and pasted them on each side of the wall. He wanted to show that everyone was equal. It was a success.(point) Nobody recognized who the Israelis and who the Palestinians were. It was a way for JR to interact with the viewers, created(en créant, by +ing) a dialogue or an exchange. Besides this project, he creates(prétérit) a project called "women are heroes" in the favelas in Brazil where there were no museums to bring art and culture to people who don't have access to art.
This form of art represents for me the best form of art which(that) exists in the world because it allows people to think, communicate and pass a message. Thus, street art allows everyone to see the project.
SECOND PART: However(pourquoi dire pourtant ? ou alors vous avez voulu dire cependant et c'est un contresens de traduction), thanks to a video we studied in class I discovered "yarn storming". It's art with pieces of wool. A(ou that) woman is doing her art and she hangs it on trees or everywhere in the city. It's a new form of art. The video was shot in Coven Garden and people show(point to) the wool and everyone is surprised. I was impressed by what we can do with wool.
To finish, I want to talk about an artist I discovered on snapchat, yes, the social networks. His name is Jan Vormann. He is a German urban artist. His amazing project is entitled "Dispatchwork". Plastic construction pieces are used to repair broken walls. He invites everyone to repair a wall and post the picture on a world map on the web.
CONCLUSION: To conclude, street art can transform spaces if artist(pluriel) make an art which embellish(le s du présent) a city or an area and it's possible to exchange between people with art if the artist passes a message. To my mind, street art can rejuvenate a city and interact with people. I think it's important that everyone can show(pourquoi "montrer", plutôt voir see come into contact with) art even if they don't have museums, that's why street art exists for me. In my opinion participating in a project like "Dispatchwork" allows everyone to discover a new form of street art.
This topic makes me wonder if street art is necessarily considered as art or (if it should be considered as..)can be considered as vandalism?
Réponse : Synthèse Bac/ correction de manoon2, postée le 29-04-2018 à 11:17:20 (S | E)
Un grand merci a vous pour toute votre aide ! J'espère avoir la meilleure note possible grâce a vos corrections ! Merci pour votre temps !
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