Avis/ CV- full time job

Avis/ CV- full time job
Message de jeremd posté le 17-04-2018 à 18:13:00 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je vis actuellement en Angleterre et je souhaite changer de travail tout en restant dans la même compagnie.
J'ai donc rédigé un CV très simple (car dans mon travail nous n'avons pas besoin de CV ultra sophistiqué), et je souhaiterais avoir votre avis sur le mien.
Cela concerne surtout ma présentation et mes compétences :

PRESENTATION I am croupier for 2 years. I worked 1 year in a French casino and then I made an "international croupier formation" At Manchester 235 with Cerus Casino Academy. Now I'm working in Alea casino since April 2017 in Nottingham, but I would like to move in London for deal bigger games and learn new game as Punto Banco.

SKILLS & ABILITIES MOTHER TONGUE: French
FOREIGN LANGUAGES: English: B2 level (Intermediate)

GAME*: I am someone who enjoy a lot my job and I would like progress and make my career in casino industry. I am able to deal different games as Roulette, Blackjack, Ultimate poker, Three card poker and Poker.I have joined you my review from Alea Manager about my skills and customers service.

concernant "Game" je souhaite parler de mes compétences concernant les jeux et dire que je suis capable de dealer tous les jeux cités et que j'adore faire ça. Si quelqu'un a un meilleur titre ce serait génial de me le proposer.
Par avance merci,
Jeremy

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Modifié par lucile83 le 17-04-2018 19:08

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Réponse : Avis/ CV- full time job de here4u, postée le 17-04-2018 à 21:10:20 (S | E)
Hello!
Quelques problèmes de temps !

PRESENTATION I am = présent impossible avec for + durée !croupier for 2 years. I worked 1 year in a French casino and then I made an "international croupier formation= training course" At Manchester 235 with Cerus Casino Academy. Now I'm working : le travail se poursuit dans le présent ... Il faut un present perfect en -ing!) in Alea casino since April 2017 in Nottingham, but I would like to move in(il y a un mouvement ...) London for deal bigger games and learn new gameS as Punto Banco.

SKILLS & ABILITIES MOTHER TONGUE: French
FOREIGN LANGUAGES: English: B2 level (Intermediate)

GAME*: I am someone who enjoy a lot my job= I enjoy my job a lot! and I would like XX progress and make my career in XXX casino industry. I am able to deal different games as Roulette, Blackjack, Ultimate poker, Three card poker and Poker.I have joined(= to enclose) you my review from Alea Manager about my skills and customers service.

"concernant "Game" je souhaite parler de mes compétences": Do it... I certainly can't do it for you!

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Réponse : Avis/ CV- full time job de jeremd, postée le 18-04-2018 à 20:39:00 (S | E)
Bonjour,
merci beaucoup pour les conseils.
Avec la correction j'obtiens ca :

I am croupier since 2 years. I worked 1 year in a french casino and then I made a training course at Manchester 235 with Cerus Casino Academy. Now I have been working in Alea casino since April 2017, but I would like to move in London for deal bigger games and learn new games as punto Banco.

SKILLS & ABILITIES MOTHER TONGUE: French
FOREIGN LANGUAGES: English: B2 level (Intermediate)

GAME*: I enjoy my job a lot and I would like to progress and make my career in casino industry. I am able to deal different games as Roulette, Blackjack, Ultimate poker, Three card poker and Poker. I have joined you my review from Alea Manager about my skills and customers service.

note 1 : Je n'ai pas compris les XX ?? En fait le "game" je souhaite juste dire que j'aime mon travail, que je suis capable de dealer beaucoup de jeux et que j'ai une très bonne review de la part de mes managers.
I have joined
D'ou ma question sur l'intitulé du paragraphe.

note 2 : "I have joined" sur la correction c'est la meme chose que j'ai mis de base ? Une erreur de frappe ? Ou devrais-je plutot utiliser le verbe "to attach" ?

Merci encore,
Jeremy

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Réponse : Avis/ CV- full time job de here4u, postée le 19-04-2018 à 13:11:35 (S | E)
Hello!

Sur ce site: bleu = faux; vert= suggestion; souligné= maladroit; XXX= il manque quelque chose.

I am Eh non! Toujours pas de présent lorsque l'on parle d'une durée avec FOR. Ici, il faudra le present perfct du verbe to be (article indéfini obligatoire) croupier since 2 years. I worked 1 year in a french(majuscule obligatoire) casino and then I made(followed) a training course at Manchester 235 with Cerus Casino Academy. Now I have been working in Alea casino since April 2017, but I would like to move in il y a déplacement, employer TO)London for (le but est exprimé grâce à "to")deal bigger games and learn new games as punto Banco.

SKILLS & ABILITIES MOTHER TONGUE: French
FOREIGN LANGUAGES: English: B2 level (Intermediate)

GAME*: I enjoy my job a lot and I would like to progress and make my career in XXX casino industry. I am able to deal different games as Roulette, Blackjack, Ultimate poker, Three card poker and Poker. I have joined you my review from Alea Manager about my skills and customers service.

note 2 : "I have joined" sur la correction c'est la meme chose que j'ai mis de base ? Une erreur de frappe ? Ou devrais-je plutot utiliser le verbe "to attach" ? yes!(attached pour un e-mail/ enclosed pour une lettre!)

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Réponse : Avis/ CV- full time job de jeremd, postée le 19-04-2018 à 17:20:11 (S | E)
Merci de prendre le temps de répondre.
J'etais persuadé d'avoir corrigé la premiere phrase, désolé.
Donc :
I have been croupier for 2 years. I worked 1 year in a French casino and then I followed a training course at Manchester 235 with Cerus Casino Academy. Now I have been working in Alea Casino since April 2017, but I would like to move to London to deal bigger games and learn new games as Punto Banco.

Games : I enjoy my job a lot and I would like to progress and make my career in the casino Industry. I’m able to deal different games as Roulette, Blackjack, Ultimate poker, Three card poker and Poker. I have attached you my review from Alea Manager about my skills and customers servce.

Je pense que le XX c'etait pour "the" puisque je veux dire "l'industrie des casinos".

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Réponse : Avis/ CV- full time job de jeremd, postée le 20-04-2018 à 19:19:59 (S | E)
I have been croupier SINCE.

Desole erreur de frappe hier. Mais dans non cv j'ai bien mis SINCE

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