Correction/Lieux et formes de pouvoir
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Message de maddy posté le 07-01-2018 à 18:30:30 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
je dois passer cette semaine à l'oral pour un entraînement de la PPC sur la notion "lieux et formes de pouvoir". Je vous serais reconnaissante si vous auriez le temps de corriger mon texte, que ce soit au niveau de la grammaire et du vocabulaire, s'il vous plaît.
Je vous remercie d'avance pour votre temps
I'm going to talk about the notion of places and forms of power. To begin with, I would like to give a definition of this notion. Strengh is a force exerted and the ability to influence a community for supervise the population with some rules and laws, that is a synonym of might. It is necessary to the members of cummunity to accept this rules for live together. However, this helps to create also conflicts.
I feel this notion is best illustrated by trying to see if all citizens are on an equal footing in India today. My presentation will fall into 3 parts.
First of all, I will concentrate on inequalities among citizens.
The document entitled "The Indian caste system" is a good example for show what is the caste system. We can make a link between the document and this notion because we discover that Indian society is influenced by the system of castes, which has a religious origin. Indeed, the society is divided into 4 main classes. So, the highest caste is the Brahman caste, and at the other end of the social ladder, there are the Dalits, also called Untouchables. They are outcastes. Nowadays, even if the principle of untouchability is forbidden, there are still of Dalits in India today who survive on less than 2 dollars a day. It shows that there are huge differences between the quality of life among the citizens.
But this social gap exist also between rich and poor. In my view, the document that best illustrate this fact is the document entitled "Why is India said to be a country of contradictions?". Indeed, let's take the case of this 2 stories. On the one hand, we have a success story of a man. On the other hand, we wave the story of a man who survives with 40 dollars a month. So the 2 stories illustrate the huge contradictions in the Indian society today.
Then I will study inequalities among men and women.
Take for example the dowry system with the document entitled "The dowry tradition". It consists to the woman's family has to pay a dowry to the husband's family when they get married. For this reason, the abortion of girls in India increase. They are considered a burden contrary to boys who preserve the family's name and pride.
Moreover, the document entitled "India's girls go missing" is an interesting illustration of gendercide in India insofar as it shows that there are more baby boys than baby girls. For Indian families, boys are financially more attractive than girls, because the bride's family has to pay a dowry to the groom's family.
Finally I will say a few words about Microcredit for Indian women.
Firstly, Microcredit consists in giving small loans to people who can't get a loan from a traditional bank. Unlike men, Microcredit has enabled some Dalit women to take out several loans but they find it difficult to repay these loans, since they earn too little money, that to say 2 pounds a day. So they can't repay and they use Microcredit mostly to survive.
In conclusion, we should keep in mind that there are huge inequalities among citizens in India. Whether between rich and poor because of the caste system, or between women and men due to the dowry tradition and microcredit for women. I would like to end by saying that as far as I am concerned, I think that they will not never be on equal footing, because there will always remain some of these systems, despite of forbiddings.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 07-01-2018 21:08
Message de maddy posté le 07-01-2018 à 18:30:30 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
je dois passer cette semaine à l'oral pour un entraînement de la PPC sur la notion "lieux et formes de pouvoir". Je vous serais reconnaissante si vous auriez le temps de corriger mon texte, que ce soit au niveau de la grammaire et du vocabulaire, s'il vous plaît.
Je vous remercie d'avance pour votre temps
I'm going to talk about the notion of places and forms of power. To begin with, I would like to give a definition of this notion. Strengh is a force exerted and the ability to influence a community for supervise the population with some rules and laws, that is a synonym of might. It is necessary to the members of cummunity to accept this rules for live together. However, this helps to create also conflicts.
I feel this notion is best illustrated by trying to see if all citizens are on an equal footing in India today. My presentation will fall into 3 parts.
First of all, I will concentrate on inequalities among citizens.
The document entitled "The Indian caste system" is a good example for show what is the caste system. We can make a link between the document and this notion because we discover that Indian society is influenced by the system of castes, which has a religious origin. Indeed, the society is divided into 4 main classes. So, the highest caste is the Brahman caste, and at the other end of the social ladder, there are the Dalits, also called Untouchables. They are outcastes. Nowadays, even if the principle of untouchability is forbidden, there are still of Dalits in India today who survive on less than 2 dollars a day. It shows that there are huge differences between the quality of life among the citizens.
But this social gap exist also between rich and poor. In my view, the document that best illustrate this fact is the document entitled "Why is India said to be a country of contradictions?". Indeed, let's take the case of this 2 stories. On the one hand, we have a success story of a man. On the other hand, we wave the story of a man who survives with 40 dollars a month. So the 2 stories illustrate the huge contradictions in the Indian society today.
Then I will study inequalities among men and women.
Take for example the dowry system with the document entitled "The dowry tradition". It consists to the woman's family has to pay a dowry to the husband's family when they get married. For this reason, the abortion of girls in India increase. They are considered a burden contrary to boys who preserve the family's name and pride.
Moreover, the document entitled "India's girls go missing" is an interesting illustration of gendercide in India insofar as it shows that there are more baby boys than baby girls. For Indian families, boys are financially more attractive than girls, because the bride's family has to pay a dowry to the groom's family.
Finally I will say a few words about Microcredit for Indian women.
Firstly, Microcredit consists in giving small loans to people who can't get a loan from a traditional bank. Unlike men, Microcredit has enabled some Dalit women to take out several loans but they find it difficult to repay these loans, since they earn too little money, that to say 2 pounds a day. So they can't repay and they use Microcredit mostly to survive.
In conclusion, we should keep in mind that there are huge inequalities among citizens in India. Whether between rich and poor because of the caste system, or between women and men due to the dowry tradition and microcredit for women. I would like to end by saying that as far as I am concerned, I think that they will not never be on equal footing, because there will always remain some of these systems, despite of forbiddings.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 07-01-2018 21:08
Réponse : Correction/Lieux et formes de pouvoir de laure95, postée le 08-01-2018 à 15:10:37 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- Strengh: orthographe.
- a community for supervise: pour: for + nom, to + infinitif.
- the members of (article) cummunity (orthographe)to accept this rules (this + singulier)for (voir remarque plus haut)live
- I feel this notion is best illustrated: mal dit.
- for show
- what is the caste system: ordre des mots (interrogative indirecte: mot interrogatif + sujet + verbe conjugué)
- we discover (pas le bon mot ici)that (article)Indian society
- 4 main classes: on parle de caste en Inde, pas de classe.
- there are still of (enlever of)Dalits in India today who survive on (pas la bonne préposition) less than 2 dollars a day.
- among the (pas de the)citizens.
- But this social gap exist (faute de conjugaison)also (pas à la bonne place) between (article)rich and (article) poor.
- the document that best illustrate (faute de conjugaison)this fact
- this 2 stories: this + singulier.
- we have a (mettre plutôt l'article défini)success story of a man.
- It consists to (pas la bonne préposition)the woman's family has to pay a dowry to the husband's family
- the abortion of girls in India increase: mettre au présent perfect.
- They are considered (préposition)a burden
- a few words about Microcredit (mettre au pluriel) for Indian women.
- Firstly,(article) Microcredit consists in giving
- Unlike men, (article)Microcredit has enabled some Dalit women
- that (il manque le verbe to be conjugué)to say 2 pounds a day.
- they use (article)Microcredit mostly to survive.
- Whether between (article) rich and poor because of the caste system,
- and microcredit (mettre au pluriel) for women.
Good job!
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