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Correction/ oral
Message de lalob19 posté le 03-01-2018 à 16:04:29
Bonjour,
je passe mon oral de bac prochainement et j'aimerais qu'on me corrige mes fautes; je suis très mauvaise en anglais!
Merci d'avance!
I will talk about the notion of "Spaces and exchanges."
This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. Our world is built on the exploration and conquest of new spaces. The different cultural, economic, sociological and language interactions have shaped and characterised our modern-day world.
What are different types of turism ? what are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism? First, an excerpt from a novel by a famous English writer,David Lodge « i hated always holliiday » pour montrer les aspects negatifs du toutism de masse.
This passage, which is entitled " I always hated holidays ", approaches the question of the mass tourism. The scene(stage) takes place in an airport and relates a conversation between two characters, worth knowing(namely) Bernard Walsh, who goes away on holidays in Hawaii, and Sheldrake, who is an anthropologist and who shows the negative aspects as well as the désutilité of the tourism.
The first words pronounced by Sheldrake are the following ones: I always hated holidays (L 1), a statement(declaration) in contrast with the public opinion.
Sheldrake uses several arguments to demonstrate the negative aspects to travel, he explains that the holidays were always synonymic of boredom, he thinks that to travel is nothing else than a waste of time and energy and trigger of many stress.
Besides, The tourism is not any more than it was. He(it) was transformed into what we call the mass tourism. Nowadays there is mass tourism, because more and more gaunt celebrity the opportunity to abroad dolly It is a trend(tendency) in arrow. (400 million international travelers in 1990 and 650 millions in 2000). However these figures reflect a well known reality of the western companies(societies) of today: every citizen of a developed country likes travelling, in their own country or abroad. Sheldrake thus compares the tourists with the pilgrims: many do not know why they travel but make him(it) all the same, it is as the drug which for him uses(wears out) the planet and causes environmental problems as the strong increase of the pollution due to transport, to hotels, to roads
Sheldrake demystifies the myth of holidays and draws our attention on the notions of conformity and the loss of the individual identities because a great majority of people go away on holidays, choose the same destinations, we see moreover in this extract the list of inescapable(major) places of interest: Paris, Venice, the Chapel Sixtine, the Eiffel Tower, the Parthenon. The activities of the tourists are represented as divested of sense(direction).
According to an audio understanding seen in class " living room in Siem Cambodge " we shall approach the advantages of the tourism with the example of a gap year abroad in the camboge. In this extract, a young man who lived in Australia decided to go off to explore the world, and to go to the Cambodia. He tells it his experience(experiment) with the young children because he was teaching voluntary in a local school, and taught mainly English regarding future career prospects for the children.
For him, it was a big revelation, it allowed him to see how the others live and the numerous differences between the cultures. Thus, the tourism has all the same numerous advantages, in this example, it is human at first because the exercised voluntary work allows the country to develop. It also shows that the tourism and the journeys are beneficial for the individual in itself, they are of excellent way to grow up as nobody by discovering mobilities up to there unknown, and to open eyes on the world. He allows to confront with new cultures, with new languages(tongues), with new customs premises(places) and to find forgotten traditions. And, He also allows to run the economy of the country, the money(silver) can allow the country to develop, to make infrastructures, to invest(surround) in the search(research), in the education etc.
To conclude, we see good that the tourism is a rapidly growing phenomenon which contains numerous advantages as well as numerous inconveniences. But, I wonder all the same if the advantages really take him(it) on the inconveniences.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 03-01-2018 18:11
Message de lalob19 posté le 03-01-2018 à 16:04:29
Bonjour,
je passe mon oral de bac prochainement et j'aimerais qu'on me corrige mes fautes; je suis très mauvaise en anglais!
Merci d'avance!
I will talk about the notion of "Spaces and exchanges."
This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. Our world is built on the exploration and conquest of new spaces. The different cultural, economic, sociological and language interactions have shaped and characterised our modern-day world.
What are different types of turism ? what are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism? First, an excerpt from a novel by a famous English writer,David Lodge « i hated always holliiday » pour montrer les aspects negatifs du toutism de masse.
This passage, which is entitled " I always hated holidays ", approaches the question of the mass tourism. The scene(stage) takes place in an airport and relates a conversation between two characters, worth knowing(namely) Bernard Walsh, who goes away on holidays in Hawaii, and Sheldrake, who is an anthropologist and who shows the negative aspects as well as the désutilité of the tourism.
The first words pronounced by Sheldrake are the following ones: I always hated holidays (L 1), a statement(declaration) in contrast with the public opinion.
Sheldrake uses several arguments to demonstrate the negative aspects to travel, he explains that the holidays were always synonymic of boredom, he thinks that to travel is nothing else than a waste of time and energy and trigger of many stress.
Besides, The tourism is not any more than it was. He(it) was transformed into what we call the mass tourism. Nowadays there is mass tourism, because more and more gaunt celebrity the opportunity to abroad dolly It is a trend(tendency) in arrow. (400 million international travelers in 1990 and 650 millions in 2000). However these figures reflect a well known reality of the western companies(societies) of today: every citizen of a developed country likes travelling, in their own country or abroad. Sheldrake thus compares the tourists with the pilgrims: many do not know why they travel but make him(it) all the same, it is as the drug which for him uses(wears out) the planet and causes environmental problems as the strong increase of the pollution due to transport, to hotels, to roads
Sheldrake demystifies the myth of holidays and draws our attention on the notions of conformity and the loss of the individual identities because a great majority of people go away on holidays, choose the same destinations, we see moreover in this extract the list of inescapable(major) places of interest: Paris, Venice, the Chapel Sixtine, the Eiffel Tower, the Parthenon. The activities of the tourists are represented as divested of sense(direction).
According to an audio understanding seen in class " living room in Siem Cambodge " we shall approach the advantages of the tourism with the example of a gap year abroad in the camboge. In this extract, a young man who lived in Australia decided to go off to explore the world, and to go to the Cambodia. He tells it his experience(experiment) with the young children because he was teaching voluntary in a local school, and taught mainly English regarding future career prospects for the children.
For him, it was a big revelation, it allowed him to see how the others live and the numerous differences between the cultures. Thus, the tourism has all the same numerous advantages, in this example, it is human at first because the exercised voluntary work allows the country to develop. It also shows that the tourism and the journeys are beneficial for the individual in itself, they are of excellent way to grow up as nobody by discovering mobilities up to there unknown, and to open eyes on the world. He allows to confront with new cultures, with new languages(tongues), with new customs premises(places) and to find forgotten traditions. And, He also allows to run the economy of the country, the money(silver) can allow the country to develop, to make infrastructures, to invest(surround) in the search(research), in the education etc.
To conclude, we see good that the tourism is a rapidly growing phenomenon which contains numerous advantages as well as numerous inconveniences. But, I wonder all the same if the advantages really take him(it) on the inconveniences.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 03-01-2018 18:11
Réponse : Correction/ oral de gerondif, postée le 03-01-2018 à 16:52:58
Bonjour
Ce texte me semble travaillé au traducteur automatique qui ne reconnait pas les mots estropiés comme:the désutilité of the tourism, ou a gap year abroad in the camboge.
Souvent, ça n'a pas de sens: more and more gaunt celebrity the opportunity to abroad dolly pour dire sans doute: de plus en plus de gens saisissent l'occasion de voyager à l'étranger. Je me demande si vous n'avez pas voulu dire qu'ils faisaient du "travelling" à l'étranger, pour que le traducteur sorte "dolly":
dolly n informal (child's doll) poupée nf
Put your dolly to bed, and then it's your bedtime.
dolly n (cinema: platform on wheels) chariot nm
(anglicisme, technique) traveling nm
The director used a dolly for the actors' stroll along the platform.
dolly n (trailer) remorque nf
Pour "gaunt" au lieu de gens, j'ai plus de mal à retrouver la piste, à moins qu'au lieu de "de plus en plus de monde", vous n'ayez tapé "de plus en plus de morne" et morne peut se traduire par gaunt.
Un vrai jeu de piste !
Réponse : Correction/ oral de lalob19, postée le 03-01-2018 à 17:28:39
en francais, voici mon texte....
Ce passage, qui est intitulé "J'ai toujours détesté vacances", aborde la question du tourisme de masse.La scène se déroule dans un aéroport et se rapporte une conversation entre deux personnages, à savoir Bernard Walsh, qui s'en va en vacances à Hawaï, et Sheldrake, qui est un anthropologue et qui montre les aspects négatifs ainsi que la désutilité du tourisme.
Les premiers mots prononcés par Sheldrake sont les suivantes: J'ai toujours détesté vacances (L 1), une déclaration en contraste avec l'opinion publique.
Sheldrake utilise plusieurs arguments pour démontrer les aspects négatifs de voyager, il explique que les vacances ont toujours été synonymes d'ennui, il pense que voyager n'est rien d'autre qu'une perte de temps et d'énergie et déclencheur de beaucoup de stress.
En outre, le tourisme n'est plus ce qu'il était. Il s'est transformé en ce qu'on appelle le tourisme de masse. Nowadays there is mass tourism, because more and more people have the opportunity to travel abroad C'est une tendance en flèche. (400 millions de voyageurs internationaux en 1990 et 650 millions en 2000). Cependant ces chiffres reflètent une réalité bien connue des sociétés occidentales d'aujourd'hui: chaque citoyen d'un pays développé aime voyager, dans leur propre pays ou à l'étranger. Sheldrake compare donc les touristes avec les pèlerins : beaucoup ne savent pas pourquoi ils voyagent mais le font quand même, c'est comme une drogue qui pour lui use la planète et cause des problèmes environnementaux comme la forte augmentation de la pollution due aux transports, aux hôtels, aux routes, consommation exagérée d'eau...
Sheldrake démystifie le mythe de vacances et attire notre attention sur les notions de conformité et de la perte des identités individuelles car une grande majorité des gens s'en vont en vacances, choisissent les mêmes destinations, on voit d'ailleurs dans cet extrait la liste des incontournables sites touristiques : Paris, Venise, la Chapelle Sixtine, la Tour Eiffel, le Parthénon. Les activités des touristes sont représentées comme dénuée de sens.
D'après une compréhension audio vue en classe « Living in Siem Cambodia » nous aborderons les avantages du tourisme avec l'exemple d'un gap year abroad au camboge. Dans cet extrait, un jeune homme qui habitait en Australie a décidé de partir à la découverte du monde, et d'aller au cambodge. Il y raconte son expérience auprès des jeunes enfants car il était enseignant bénévole dans une école locale, et enseignait majoritairement l'anglais en termes de perspectives de carrière futures pour les enfants. Pour lui, ce fut une grande révélation, ça lui a permis de voir comment les autres vivent et les nombreuses différences entre les cultures. Donc, le tourisme a tout de même de nombreux avantages, dans cet exemple, il est d'abord humain puisque le bénévolat exercé permet au pays de se développer. Cela montre également que le tourisme et les voyages sont bénéfiques pour l'individu en lui-même, ce sont d'excellent moyen de grandir en tant que personne en découvrant des mobilités jusque-là inconnue, et d'ouvrir les yeux sur le monde. Il permet de se confronter à de nouvelles cultures, de nouvelles langues, de nouvelles coutumes locals et de trouver des traditions oubliées. Et, Il permet aussi de faire fonctionner l'économie du pays, l'argent peut permettre au pays de se développer, de faire des infrastructures, d'investir dans la recherche, dans l'éducation etc.
To conclude, nous voyons bien que le tourisme est un phénomène en pleine expansion qui comporte de nombreux avantages ainsi que de nombreux inconvénients. Mais, je me demande tout de même si les avantages l'emportent vraiment sur les inconvénients.
Réponse : Correction/ oral de lucile83, postée le 03-01-2018 à 18:14:26
Hello,
Que voulez-vous qu'on fasse avec votre texte en français , qu'on le traduise à votre place? C'est hors de question.
